I want to start this post by saying I'm doing quite well overall. It's been a significant change, to finally having sold my flat in Stockholm and deciding to (temporarily) move into a house in the Swedish countryside. It's been interesting to me to follow how I manage this social isolation (as that is the biggest challenge with this change). If you want to have more of a background you can read this post: A Kind Of General Update - Where To Go From Here?
One thing I can say though, this change has definitely been good for my health. I believe that it's possible to feel good no matter where you are, you can learn to appreciate most circumstances or at least see them as an opportunity to grow, instead of playing the victim card. This is not me saying that I always manage, but I definitely have more self-awareness around this nowadays. But what I wanted to say is that I also believe that an environment that inspires you definitely helps you to feel better, both physically and mentally. And I didn't feel inspired in Stockholm. I actually have quite a strong reaction, ever since I left that city I feel that I never want to go there again. As soon as I see pictures/videos from Stockholm I feel so happy that I'm not living there anymore.
I realize there's a lot I could say on this topic but I thought I would focus on a few things that have contributed to my improved overall health. (Besides finally leaving a place that wasn't right for me).
Improved gut health - (finally!)
Some of you might know that I have struggled with digestive issues for, well over 15 years. Earlier this year I decided to try a daily system of prebiotics and probiotics. Basically, each morning I take 2 multi-biotic capsules and 3 small scoops of the all-in-one prebiotic. And even though my digestive health still isn't perfect, it has for sure made a significant difference. I have tried so much over the years so I had almost given up. But it seems like my microbiome plays a major role. I guess that combined with stress/emotional turmoil (as the gut is our emotional center and I'm a person who feels a lot). For example, my digestion didn't really work well when I spent a few days with my brother (I shared about his visit here: My Estranged Brother Turned 40 - Spending Time With Family in case you're interested). Now, these capsules and powder aren't cheap, I pay €97 a month, but if it helps it's really worth it!
My improved gut health also means that I have more energy, something I have been struggling with for a long, long time. And of course, it's not surprising if it's also contributing to my improved mental health.
I don't worry so much
Another thing that I have struggled with a lot is worry. I would say it got worse when I moved back to Stockholm about 3 years ago. I spent so much time and energy worrying. About all kinds of stuff. Even on things that happened in the past. And I also criticized myself a lot for this behavior. But now I find myself in another place. I still have these tendencies. But I don't allow myself to go there as much. I have actually learned to 'take control' over my thoughts more frequently. I can even laugh sometimes at my own worrying thoughts because I know they are so absurd. It also really helps me to think of the worst thing that can happen and then simply accept that it'll be ok even if this happens.
I also learned one technique from a radio show. (I listen quite a lot to the radio since I moved here, something I haven't done in many years. The public service radio in Sweden actually has a lot of high-quality shows). They said that if something bothers you, for instance, you feel a need (or compulsion) to correct something, let's say a can of tomato sauce in your cupboard is upside down (so the text on the label is upside down). If this bothers you you do your best not to turn it around. You let it stay upside down and bother you. If you manage to do so your compulsion to 'correct' things will wear off with time. Now, I know these kinds of things aren't really about worrying so much but for me, they are connected. Of course, it's easier to start with things that don't trigger such a strong compulsion and go from there 🙂
So despite no social life I feel that a lot is improving. I'm also feeling more inspired in general and have a lot of ideas for the future. (I'll share more about this). Beauty is actually one of my most important values and therefore I don't think it's so strange that the stunning nature I'm surrounded by now nurtures me in a profound way. I feel that parts of me that have been buried for such a long time are coming alive. I know it's not sustainable for me to be this isolated though. But I have started to formulate some kind of plan that will change this also. Stay tuned 🙂 And if I'm allowed to say this;
I'm proud of myself for managing this social isolation so well.
(The pictures in this post are from the place where I'm now staying. The weather has been rather dramatic lately, with lots of heavy rain and thunderstorms).
Thanks for reading 🌸
Love and blessings to you all 💚