“All stress, anxiety, depression, is caused when we ignore who we are, and start living to please others.”
~ Paulo Coelho, 2014 ~
Life does not go as planned. Our emotional and physical wellness are no different. Fighting the demons that torment us and our brains, on the other hand, is what truly makes a person strong.
I wrestled with my mental health for several months. I used to enjoy writing because I wanted to beat my sadness, but now I even have to write according to how I'm feeling.
I have to repress the temptation to emerge from my cocoon every night. When it's time to go to bed, the gloom and silence cause me to dwell on the past. Where the ghosts of the people who mistreated and cheated me in the past haunt my thoughts.
At the same time, I experienced terror and fear. I can very clearly recall the time I had my previous surgery. I was traumatized when I learned that my friend had passed away, become ill, and visited the hospital. And it traumatized me to see a show about doctors or hospitals.
Yet, today I forced myself to leave the house once more because my son is not feeling well. We visited this clinic after visiting a different one that provided my son with medication that had no effect at all.
I can see the clouds. And I am very grateful that I can leave the house today thanks to the weather, which inspired me to write my blog today. One of the things that can keep me sane is what I've been doing all this time: healing and meditation in my own room.
Yet I'm still holding out hope that I can overcome all the bad thoughts that are always running through my head and resume the work I've already started.
The fact that my family understands my condition and that my friends frequently inquire about it makes me very thankful. Even if they live far away, my friends always have time to call or message me on WhatsApp.
For the record, I stopped taking medication from my psychiatrist's clinic a long time ago since I didn't want to rely too heavily on sedatives and antidepressants to fall asleep. I am doing everything in my power to avoid relapsing in my mental health.
I've been able to combat my predicament all these time because I've realized that it's all a mental game that only I can win. I must maintain a positive attitude and always care for my physical and emotional well-being.
In terms of my dietary habits and way of life. I'm glad to say that I've long since quit my unhealthy caffeine and nicotine habits. Along with reducing my use of white sugar and salt, I also often practise drinking white water. I also consume tiny meals and only enough food to fill my stomach, not to feel full.
I hope that I will always maintain my existing way of life and that I can naturally recover psychologically from panic attacks, anxiety, and depression.
I'm glad I can say this here even though I'm aware that I'm not travelling this path alone. Remember that you are not alone in your struggles or in having to face your own demons; talking it out really helps a lot. I hope everyone of my lovely readers have a wonderful day and never forget to love themselves and be grateful for their many blessings.
All Pictures Are Mine
My Journey Today
