Accusing others of your personal deterioration is like throwing your precious time into the trash bin. Doing so, you delete your chances of growth for the better. You can't evolve, and you obviously can't reach your full potential. Hence, your life plunges straight into a dark abyss, burying you deeper into the unknown.
Recent investigations by leading psychologists have discovered that we have two essential attitudes towards life and its depressive states we fear. People harboring the first attitude blame others and their environment. While those practicing the second attitude devise ways to solve their pressing problems.
Picture the current relationship of a pair of great friends on the verge of collapse. What are some destructively negative forces that contribute to that tendency? Lack of trust, insecurity, arrogance, dishonesty, incompetency, or low self-esteem? Envy? Most probably. It's seldom difficult to unravel the mysteries inside the mental chambers of individuals suffering from these complications.
Unless your friend with the issues becomes truthful to themself, tames their ego, and admits their mistakes, the chances for reconciliation are slim. Why? Because nothing happens if you keep passing the blame unto others. How could you even wish to cultivate the seeds of friendship on fertile soil if you interpret the other person as a threat, a rival, or perhaps as an obstacle to your selfish agendas? A poisonous sprout doesn't thrive for long. It will perish immediately when exposed to the dangerous storms of life.
You're the source of the problem.
It's frustrating to transform other people to adjust to your ways. It's impossible to change others. Don't even try it. Yet, you can definitely change yourself. It's not that easy though. Because it takes plenty of honesty, courage, and discipline to do it. Here's a painful truth. It's much more satisfying to your emotions - to accuse somebody else of your misfortune. Ouch!
Part of my upbringing as a young adult was the hurtful realization of how elevated my intellectual pride was. Acquaintances had to rigorously climb Mount Everest to merely align to my level. I was obviously trapped in my own universe. Until those moments came when I realized that some of my close friends were already avoiding me. And of course, with my conceited mindset during those days, I stood my ground.
As a result, I unconsciously crippled existing relationships, and the fresh opportunities to create contacts, buddies, and especially lifelong connections. That was expected to occur. It took many years before my ignorance eventually toppled the foundations of my egoistic barriers. And then, something remarkable happened.
I swallowed my pride. Literally. And what a huge difference did it make! It was similar to the removal of sharp thorns embedded on your head for a long time that were plucked out one by one. As with any physical injury, blood spurted out, of course, making it one of the most excruciating transitions I've ever encountered. On the bright side, those learning experiences were relieving - so much worth it. They were indeed blessings in disguise.
Okay, some human beings may have been destined for unfortunate circumstances beyond their control. However, that's simply a tiny fraction of the world's entire population. Most of us possess the birthright of choosing what we desire for our lives. We were offered the freedom to select the routes we want to traverse. Most importantly, each one of us is capable of boosting our lives for the better.
But, how?
Begin with baby steps. Ponder on critical questions like the following. Have you grabbed the personal, professional, and business opportunities offered to you? Are you practicing the micro habits that would catapult you every single day closer to your dreams? In every endeavor that you've worked on, have you invested your greatest effort?
If you replied no to all those queries, it's about time to set your house in proper order. What does that mean? You need to enable yourself like a filter to screen out wrong stuff that you're aware of. Declutter your thoughts and organize them neatly, away from the vast confusion caused by the irritating noise that constantly bombards you. Focus your attention on what really matters.
This is only the beginning. Eventually, your mental well-being will reveal itself as proof. This will empower your thinking skills and provide the necessary light to guide your voyage. Clarity is key here. Instead of being a nuisance to others, you'll be considered truly valuable by your friends, your colleagues, your family, and the society you belong to. You'll simply become reliable.
Your life would still be filled with hardships. And you'll still deal with all sorts of suffering. That's the real cost of being human. Don't be too ambitious with rescuing the entire planet by becoming a superhero for mankind. That idea is far-fetched, practically unrealistic, and nearly impossible. But rather, repair yourself first. You're much better off with this approach, maintaining treasured peace with those around you.
My name is ERNE, and I'm an advocate for positive self-transformation.
#Hive, have you performed a personal assessment lately?
References:
Photo Credits - Unsplash 1 2 3
All Rights Reserved