To those ready to see the end of the “what to do about choice” series, and myself, let’s review what we learned:
1. Choose When to Choose
Decisions about what to eat at dinner shouldn’t take all night. But if you’re like me, you probably worry about the options, the price, the execution of the dish and what everyone else got. Think about things less by comparing only what’s best versus next best- keep it to one opportunity cost. Plus, keep a rule. When’m out alone, I get my favorite food without fail: burgers.
2. Be a Chooser, Not a Picker
Picking your nose might be the only thing worse. Cut back the thinking on stuff that doesn’t move you. Sadly, I must admit it’s Overwatch. I rather make, take and write stories. Worrying about competitive matches and skill rank feels like a thing of the past. Play with friends and watch the clock. The reason the fun feels like it’ll never end is cuz’ at some point, it does. Decide on what matters and make things work for it. Yeah, photography but not that alone: I want to make the bigger picture, not just see it..
3. Satisfice More and Maximize Less
Maximizing hurts more when presented with so many options. For this truth alone, I would have given what I have to know it even a day sooner. So many things: to watch, to eat, to buy. Getting “the best” costs more than it’s worth. There’s nothing quite like fresh, hot junk food on an empty stomach: whatever that meal is to you. I could watch the show every Sunday to keep up with everyone, but what about my account balance? We can’t all watch that; and I don’t even wanna see it right now. I’m grateful for being broke- I haven’t bought much junk. The goal is… buy cheap books, get rich knowledge.
4. Think About the Opportunity Costs of Opportunity Costs
Too much consideration of the “what-ifs” ruins what you have. Second-order decisions lead you to papers from Chicago, so I’ll make a note to elaborate on this again another time. In short, my choice to buy favorites when ordering dinner, reduces the cost of deliberating the whole time “what do I get to eat?” For what I post on HIVE, I used to agonize. Now, my posts are what I see, what I think and write.
5. Make Your Decisions Nonreversible
I know I might bail if I had to study econ + finance again. I didn’t back out the first time because I reasoned that it aligns with my interests. Jared always asked why I didn’t become a marketing major. I don’t know. Part of me thought I’d make more. I understand the choice to go with things just cuz’ is as dissatisfying as not picking what you want. Part of me thinks I could’ve been an excellent marketer, but I’ve been an economist my whole life. I’m glad I went thru it. Also, confidence and effort into someone who feels mutually about you might be the greatest feeling. Not understanding this fact sooner might’ve been a costly lesson.
6. Practice an “Attitude of Gratitude”
I’ll admit thanksgiving is the best holiday, because you feel the warmth of giving but at no cost. Gratitude is free. Appreciation of knowledge isn’t cheap. I thank servers and restaurants for the food, just like I would my parents. Sometimes my pride gets in the way of my biggest blessings. I’m grateful they tried their best, even if I don’t appreciate all the nuance. I may be down, but I’m not out.
I haven’t made daily gratitude a habit yet- thankfully, there’s a book for that.
7. Regret Less
My favorite step to ponder, I want less regret. The difference between a maxi and a sati (maximizer and satisficer) is like night and day. I scored high in an assessment designed to quantify maximizing behavior. That ideal is just that, idealistic and more harmful than good upon almost certain failure. What was the best course to take? Where was the best school? Which was the best investment? (Answer to that one, is time.) I make note cuz this one is a biggie but I forgot. For many seasons, before this book arc, I repeated that I’m a failure for some choices I made. I took school lightly and paid; I took relationships lightly to little gain. Yet, along with a lesson, there was good to see. I can tell where and who to invest my time. I know the power of and use for information and action.
That’s it for the review session. Four steps remain IOT to complete the guide on choices and experience. SWBAT identify at least three steps to eliminate stress and make choices.
IOT: in order to
SWBAT: students will be able to
8. Anticipate Adaptation
Getting used to things hurts as much as it helps. A double-edged blade is a strong image, but I can’t really relate. Complacency is a drug. In small doses, it can alleviate pain and discomfort. Dosage might even have desired consequences like pain relief, anxiety reduction and increases in appetite. Abuse, I might argue even over usage, causes adverse effects. Discomfort, pain and conflict with others are among the issues. Accept that things won’t feel as new overtime but appreciate that they’re new to you. I made a few thousand dollars in one click and felt invincible. When really, to me, money is for doing more of what matters. That’s it.
9. Control Expectations
I make part of a meager living with the fantastic. Inconducive to the process many times, expectations run from imaginative to improbable fast. This weekend, for example, I’m seeing someone. Don’t expect fireworks or any spectacle, we’re just getting breakfast. My pleasure in their company makes brunch a bonanza, which may never ketchup to my wild thoughts. Similarly, I imagined learning about Bitcoin would get me fed- a hi-paying job and thousands of dollars. Instead, I owe a lot of money and can’t funnel consumer funds into my wallets. If I’d have known… I’d still do the right thing. Risk my own capital (mostly). They really think they can open a restaurant in this economy...
The biggest tip I can say I followed best might be: allow for serendipity. Many things I dealt with would make a grown man cry. Me? I flinch like a dog, but I fight. Mine is for the little things from which I enjoy big time. Serendipity is the end of a book. It’s the beginning of a new page in your journal. It’s a food you like, just this once, for a job well done. Too many times, I get ahead of myself, trip and fall. Then I blame myself for running, not the breakneck pace.
10. Curtail Social Comparison
I know a woman who worked hard but worked herself harder. Comparison, she doesn’t know, kills joy. Her son doesn’t like measuring up to his friends, her daughter and younger son dislike matchups to their older brother. We know we could make more, do more, or be more- but she doesn’t understand what they want- to be themselves. Just be. I struggle with my own mother’s social measurements. Even if it’s to motivate, it has the opposite effect on you, like one more drink. Glad the solution’s the same either way. Focus on what makes you happy. Here I am.
11. Learn to Love Constraints
Someone once said that discipline is freedom. I didn’t understand. Don’t remember who. I read elsewhere, “The Way is in training.” This made more sense- exercise helps you grow, in nearly every case. Then I learned it’s under discussion, up for debate who coined this thought. “Excellence isn’t an act, but a habit.” I can’t help but agree. We are what we eat- and do. So constraints, I should love… since I’m actually free? It’s not intuitive but go figure. I could write platitudes, but take this from a photog. Some nights and days you don’t have your camera- you’re more aware of visual moments.
There it is. Eleven steps if you decide to decide on more, choose less and not pick just cuz’ ever again. So much discussion to have, this book The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwarz ought to be required high school reading- if not, at least college, general education. I spent some tokens for dinner and a ride; that book’s paying for everything I ever get for the rest of my days. Imagine it only cost 2 bucks online. Priceless.