made with canva.
Thinking of a proper way to begin this article almost gave me a migraine. With that, I welcome you to what I think is the beginning or hopefully the end of my self-sabotaging WRITER’s BLOCK PHASE.
You know, that torturing state where you have little to no inspiration to write and are just simply utterly and completely stuck.
It all started when I decided to take a temporary break from writing as a result of too much workload on my hands at the time only to realize coming back has now become a serious problem.
I went from keeping a writing streak for weeks to going MIA with spotty attendance.
These days, writing feels like a painful chore and when I do decide to write, I find it difficult to come up with more than 400 words which rarely happens.
A couple of weeks ago after I got my free time back and decided to make a come back at writing, I noticed it was difficult to come up with a proper and attractive article which again rarely happens.
From having a topic to talk about to formulating an intriguing title and even designing a thumbnail, it now feels so complex and inconvenient.
I thought this would likely last for a couple of days till I bounce back to my motivated self again but it seems like these days are now turning to weeks and I hope to God the trend ends there.
Believe it or not it is very frustrating having to go through this.
I sometimes feel like I have a lot of contents to share given the time and experience I’ve acquired from this break, but at the same time it also feel like I’m restricting my own self from creating them and that is slowly driving me crazy.
So much content waiting to be shared but so little desire to share it.
It’s almost like my brain went on airplane mode all of a sudden and has refused to go back to default.
It keeps replaying what could’ve been and how far I could’ve come but still somehow restricting my creative side to take over.
Speaking of, when I finally put my brain to work by settling down to create and write a nice content, it makes it seem like it’s not good enough. Being a certified perfectionist has never incited more harm than good either.
There’s about two and a half articles in my notes but it feels too mid to share.
It’s like a missing piece of the puzzle I can’t seem to find.
However, the situation has gotten to the extent that this particular article has been sitting in my draft for days and it took me one full week to finally complete it. I still feel like it isn’t good enough but I refuse to lose at the game so here we are.
If only I could turn back time and never stopped writing then maybe I wouldn’t find myself in this depressing phase.
It’s such a weird place to be that I don’t even wish upon my enemy.
Imagine going from being so propelled and driven to do something you enjoy every day to being completely hopeless and uninspired to do it anymore.
Well thankfully this phase like any other eventually subsides and I’m eagerly waiting on that day like a bride would her wedding or a lion would it’s prey.
In essence, I guess the lesson learnt would be never to take any long breaks in life anymore, especially in doing what you love because finding the discipline or urge to go back can be challenging and painful.
I’d give anything to go back to the way things were because above all, I really miss my sugar daddy Hive.
images are mine except sourced otherwise.