So I was thinking about love I was thinking about how difficult it is for us to find and maintain the love that we all yearn for and it kind of dawned on me that I think a big part of the problem is that we define love no other one subject may have been more analyzed talked about and experienced by every single person on this planet than love and yet we have no clue.
What it is that I and Jada were reflected about you cannot make a person happy you can make a person smile you can make a person feel good you can make a person laugh but whether or not a person is happy is deeply and totally and utterly out of your control the thing that we call love the thing that we're searching for and we're trying to create that we call love is not love.
J Krishnamurti talked about the concept of the desire-pleasure paradigm that we think about love in terms of desire and pleasure meaning that if you meet my needs then I love if you don't then I don't so that love becomes transactional if you do what I want if you meet my desire and give me pleasure I love you if you don't meet my desire and you don't give me pleasure.
I don't love you I think that is the insatiable nature of desire trying to get somebody to fill our cup I think that leads to anger and leads to frustration and ultimately it makes us break apart from people my sister Wilson taught me a hard lesson I think that the real paradigm for love is Gardner flour so the relationship that a gardener has with a flower is the gardener wants to flower to be what the flower is designed to be not.
What the gardener wants the flower to be you want the flower to bloom and to blossom and to become what it wants to be you want it to become what god designed that it becomes what you need it to be for your ego anything other than all of your gifts wide open giving and nourishing this flower into their greatness is not love I come up with it, with the thing that I that has been helpful to me love is spelled I UV listen understand and validate.
What you hear as true listening is a magnificent superpower a really deep listening and we can't listen if we have something that we want to say listening is a connective energy learning how to quiet your mind and quiet your thoughts and quiet your own needs and desires and listen to what the other person is saying you understand that you have to truly understand what the person is saying to you there is nothing that feels better to a human being.
Then to feel understood the mission is to thoroughly and completely understand what the person is saying what has been helpful for me is to repeat back what the person has said to you and then the V is to validate the things that you recognize as true in what they say validate them as true yes I get it I understand that I see that got It so the validation is a huge part of creating a loving environment with a person I UV listen understand validate at its core a thinking love is help.
Everybody is having a hard time so love is devotion to their struggle it's when you're committed to helping somebody with their life helping them to suffer less you know helping them to manage their minds and their emotions I think love is a deep desire for our loved one growth and they're blossoming and they're all around well-being when you love somebody you want them to feel good you want them to be happy and you want to see them succeed in life and love demands an in-depth understanding of their hopes and their dreams and their fears their needs and trauma I think love is giving and sharing our gifts to nurture empowering them and helping them to create their greatest joys. So see you all soon I will upload my next blog very soon thank you for giving my blog your precious time.
This is my participation post for Initiative:MAY IN LEO