$3.4 USD is the latest new surge for the hottest crypto going. At $3, my HIVE is worth 55000 USD, or 70000 CAD, an amount that has the ability to fix a major problem in my life. Of course, there's no telling what the price will be once I actually get it into a form I can use. And there are complications. The following post contains personal and private (until now) information I would normally not divulge. I'm doing so in the hopes that it will help me achieve the advice/help/support I need to make this happen, and completely revolutionize my entire life.
Bit of background
I was a sheltered young man when I married in 1999, having grown up religious and mainstream, and only recently having obtained access to the early world wide web. I soon had a nursing career and 2 amazing little children. But as is the case sometimes, I found that she and I had nothing else in common, and weren't sustainable. I think today, she would agree with that 100%. But it was I who first realized it, by quite a margin. Long story short, I hurt her in the process of getting away.
In the divorce agreement, done agreeably outside of court, she ended up with the house, and stuff, while I left with the inventory of my eBay business (collectible cards) and not much else. The children are 'joint' (50/50) but they were to primarily live with her, giving her the tie-breaker on certain decisions. I was to pay her X dollars per month, based on my nursing income, to go toward the children. Somewhat standard.
At about that time, I was coerced into taking the avian flu vaccine at work, which made me sick. And soon after, they wanted to stick me with the swine flu vaccine, so I walked away from nursing forever. Just as those nurses are doing right now, over the Covid jabs! (And more power to them!) Nursing had been something my wife and I were into, together. I was also in the middle of waking up, so along with the divorce, it was a time of great change for me. That's when my YouTube channel began, met my current wife @MediKatie, and the rest is documented history.
Katie gave up the launch of her teaching career to come help me care for my dying grandmother in her home on the outskirts of Vancouver in 2014 and 2015. I put my nursing skills to work and did what was asked of me. She died in my arms in early 2016. I was devastated, and have still not recovered, or had the chance to properly grieve. I've documented my diagnosis of PTSD, depression/anxiety, and fibromyalgia. And the loss of support from family, homeless periods, loss of my collectibles business, attempts to receive help from the Canadian medical system, inevitable addiction to Effexor, recovery using cannabis extracts, finding a decent rental apartment in Vancouver, and other developments right here on this blockchain.
In early 2019 Katie conceived, a miracle considering we had been together 10 years at that point, and she had been told her childhood spinal cancers and radiation treatment had rendered her sterile. We sensed something coming (which turned out to be the plandemic), and got out of Vancouver, leaving our activism and connections behind. We rent a small house in a small town in the Okanagan (yes, the region recently hit by the summer heat dome, wildfires that wiped towns off the map, and floods that wiped more towns off the map). We are both unable to work, and require help with certain things, but do our best to provide that for each other, and raise our amazing little boy, who is now 2. We are independent as a family. Katie is currently very pregnant with our second (and likely final) child and we're very happy about that.
Since the Covid pandemic, we've been surviving off the various stimulus payments, disability, and family (yes, in Canada we get "paid" monthly for babies under 18). It's not at all my idea of a good time. For one thing, it's only just enough to pay the bills. And another, I don't want to get anything "free" from the state. I know it isn't really free - nothing is. I worked hard for many years, I paid a LOT of taxes into those funds. And my wife is seriously crippled, while I am physically and mentally unsound. So I paid my dues, and it's not like we're faking this. But I don't like relying on a handout. I want to get myself better, so that I can provide for my family with my labour again. In fact, I grow as much food as I'm able to, right here on the property, with as much time and energy as I can spare. I'm not lazy. I've worked hard all my life, always to the best of my current abilities.
Due to losing my business and my health over the past 10 years, I've gone from being completely caught up on my monthly payments, to being extremely behind. Now please keep in mind, I've done what I can. And know this, my children are extremely well off. They've never known a moment of hunger in their lives, and in fact, they've had every luxury and every opportunity. I haven't been able to see them in many years, and don't want to get into that here. It's just very unfortunate, both for me and for them. We had a great relationship for so many years together. And I have hopes for the future. They're now young adults, and though I don't currently know them, I love them and I'm proud of them. But no, I have not been able to keep up with the ridiculous size and pace of those payments. I'm behind, and the penalties/interest have been piled high.
That said, please keep in mind that fathers being behind on payments is NOT grounds to stop the father from seeing the children. You can be a million in the hole, and as long as there's no valid other reason, you still have the same rights as the other parent. I'm going to leave it there. And please, don't judge. You weren't there, and you don't know the whole story. I'm telling what I can, in order to (hopefully) get some help and advice.
Bottom line for my financial situation is that we were homeless, sick, and penniless just 4 years ago. Today - through financial discipline, lifestyle upgrades, efficiency, calculated risk-taking, smart moves, hard work, sacrifice, and luck - we have stabilized. We live within our means, and make due with what we've got. At least for now, in this changing world, we're okay.
Health-wise, we've taken a beating, but we're still here. My eyes are going quickly right now, and my nerves are pretty messed up. It's something like MS (or it is MS). Very unpleasant. It feels like I went from driving a new sports car to a very beat up old clunker. Everything hurts, everything's slow, I have to be very careful with my diet and lifestyle. I'm fragile. It sucks! I want to be doing so much more. I push myself to my limits, but I usually know when not to go too far. I feel like I went from 40 to 70 in a month. The past 5 years has been very painful, both physically and mentally.
I don't know how long I have, and no longer trust the mainstream allopathic healthcare system (or Big Pharma) I was once a part of. I've got no diagnosis and no treatment, and I'm getting worse. I don't want to leave this loose end dangling.
Steem/Hive
I heard about Steem while I was homeless but couldn't really start posting full-time until late 2017. I invested my Bitcoin (0.2 BTC) into STEEM near the top in early 2018, and continued posting, commenting, and curating full-time over the entire bear market. When we split to Hive, I sold my STEEM for HIVE and powered up. I've never spent anything, just powered it all up into my HP, except for spending 1000 HIVE recently on Ivermectin, and 10000 HIVE a while back on a water pump for some thirsty Venezuelans.
I'm not an investor, and I've talked about that at length. Oh, I know where the Bitcoin price is going next, that's not the problem. I'm just saying, I don't invest. To each their own but I believe investing is mostly just profiteering off other investors. We rarely win against The House (banks and exchanges). Our wins are against each other. Money for savings, that's another matter! Definitely. And currency for spending, that makes sense to me. I'm just not into buying and selling financial instruments in order to profit off changes in their value. I saw Bitcoin and cryptos coming back in 2013, and told my viewers. Some of them went on to do very well, and some of them got many others into crypto as well. But I've stayed out of investing.
But I've got my HIVE from 4+ years of payouts. 17000 of them, to be specific.
As I've noted in previous writings, that doesn't amount to much when the price is below a dollar. A few thousand bucks here or there is nice, but it doesn't pay off major debts. So I've always just hung on for dear life, hoping beyond hope my ship would someday come in.
Suddenly, as I wrote last night, HIVE at $2 is significant, and it came on suddenly. After years of struggling, I have to blink a few times and rub my eyes when I look at my wallet dollar value. And at $3 today, I suddenly have seventy thousand Canadian dollars worth.
That's how much I supposedly owe my ex.
I say "supposedly" because there was a clerical error early on causing me to be charged X+10 each month instead of X. It was never addressed. Through compound interest and fees, it's hard to tell exactly what I owe at the moment, but it's less than what the state printout claims. Also, X was based on my nursing income, something I haven't had access to for many years. I do have official disability status (sorry to pull that card). Any judge would look at the case and reduce the debt to a fraction of its current amount. I've known guys that happened to. And maybe that's an option to consider.
That said, at anywhere above $3 HIVE, I have enough to pay that debt off in full. Now. The whole thing! Including all the fees, and the mistaken extra $10 a month, and the compound interest, and the penalties, and the yearly fee the Queen gets - yes, seriously, the Queen takes several hundred dollars a year from Canadian parents who are in debt! If I can "cash out" all my HIVE at $3 - or just a portion of it if HIVE were to go even higher - then I can be debt free for the first time in 10 years. From literal rags to (relative) riches in just a few years. That would be a major crypto success story, in my eyes!
I don't know if you're aware, but in Canada, if the state thinks you owe your ex-wife, they destroy you. I've lost my right to drive, I can't own vehicles, I can't have a bank account or credit card, can't use PayPal, can't have a passport, can't leave the country, and more. You become unbanked, with no ID, no right to travel, and everything in life becomes harder and more expensive. That's when I lost my successful 17 year online business, which reeeally made it hard to make payments. Anyway, it has been a frickin' nightmare. I'm not blaming that on anyone else, as I know I've played my part as well. I'm just saying, it has been a nightmare.
Suddenly, there's a potential way for the nightmare to be over.
But my ex doesn't take HIVE, as far as I know! I've never done it before, but in theory, I can get my HIVE into BTC, making it a lot more liquid. But I don't think my ex would accept that, either. Perhaps I could ask, but we haven't spoken in years, and that would probably be a bad question to start with. So I probably need a way to get it from BTC to a form more recognized by the state/system.
The catch(es)
I'm unbanked. No bank accounts, no credit cards, no PayPal, nothing that needs any of those things.
I'm unsmart. I'll never touch a smart device. I get my internet wired into the back of my home PC. I have a home telephone. I have an old digital camera. I party like it's 1999.
I don't have current ID. I can't get current ID.
I can't drive, and have other physical limitations.
I will not associate with large corporations (like Walmart, Amazon, etc), centralized control systems like government, financial institutions, etc. This is a personal stance of conscience.
Basically, I can't and won't use cryptocurrency unless it is private and decentralized. I tried for months to find a way to make this happen, through a project I called Crypto Lunch, but found no suitable method, even with the help of the Hive community.
That said, given the nature of my mission, some of these catches can be ignored. Yes, I've got no bank account or smart device... but I'm not too worried right now if I have to buy something off a corporate site, or do something a way I wouldn't normally do it. And if I can make this happen, I'll be free of all these restrictions forever! I just have to get there.
That's the STEEM chart over December 2017 and January 2018.
Notice on the left, where the chart hits and breaks above the $2 level. It took a couple weeks of consolidation, but then there was a further spike to over 8 USD right at New Years. It hovered above $6 regularly all January, before continuing the very long slow decline to nearly zero.
In other words, HIVE could very well make such a move in the next few weeks. Absolutely no guarantees, but if I were a betting man, I would be betting on HIVE.
There's an outside chance that it could go up to $10 or $20+, meaning I would be quite wealthy, able to hire a personal advisor to deal with all this, and still have some left to prepare for what appears to be a collapse of society just around the corner.
I would also really like to put a few thousand into therapy for myself. I've provided therapy for hundreds of patients, but as a patient, I've never received therapy. My PTSD is in remission, but it still affects my life, robbing me of sleep, of pleasure, of peace. Therapy (for grief, abuse, etc) is not covered here in BC, but when I can afford that, I'm going to treat myself. One thing I know, as a psychiatric nurse for 10 years, is that our minds and bodies are connected intricately. They are one. We only separate them in the medical fields - on paper and in our imaginations. But each affects the other. You can't be physically healthy for long if your mental health is in shambles, and vice versa. So I know some of my physical pain and disability is related to my trauma and grief. I know I need to deal with it, and I'm not avoiding it, I've just never been able to afford it. It's tantalizing to imagine that being in reach. That could change so much for me, and my improved health benefits many others.
Even at $3, or anywhere near that, I'm in range of clearing the debt, and that would change SO much. I would have options again. To say a weight would be lifted off me is an understatement. It would be like getting out of prison after 10 years locked up for something you didn't do. It would feel THAT good!
My two children with my ex, who I never get to see, would also surely benefit from that lump sum, too. That's a good thing. Not that they need anything, but they're at that age for things like travel, college, or starting a business. And times are pretty messed up right now. I'd feel good about them having a few extra dollars in their pockets.
And I don't have any negative feelings about my ex, who remarried years ago. It's sad that she's so full of anger, even after all these years, and after all the damage she has done to me (and others) to achieve revenge. But I forgive her. I know I hurt her, so I know where this past 15 years has come from. It's only natural. I've been through hell, and I'm still going through it, but I don't feel like it's a sign of submission or weakness to pay the full amount. On the contrary, it's a sign of strength, a boss move. I hope she receives it in good health and enjoys it immensely. I hope it makes her feel whole again. Seriously.
I just currently have no way of making that happen, and really don't want to screw anything up by making a misstep.
What I'm looking for
General advice, for one thing. Now that I've given up this personal info, some of my privacy has been lost permanently. In some regards, a clock is ticking now, because 3 potential forces will be interested in my newfound wealth: My ex, the taxman, and disability. I don't know the legal/financial implications of my HIVE suddenly being worth something, or what happens if I convert/spend it. I don't know if there's any way somebody could seize my HIVE. That would suck, because then I wouldn't have control of when and how it was converted to something else, and I don't trust that someone else would make the best decision about it.
I don't want to get out of paying what I (supposedly) owe, including all the stupid extra fees and interest. She can get rich off my hard work and smart moves, that's fine with me. But I'd like to be able to do it my way, without government agencies or financial institutions dictating terms. I've been through hell, and come out the other side with just my wife, baby, and 17000 HIVE. Now that it's suddenly worth enough to pay off the debt, I feel I've earned the right to pay it my way. Nobody's entitled to it except me. I'll pay my debt like a grown man, but I want to do it properly, in a way that doesn't compromise my beliefs.
Could/should I hire an accountant? Or a financial advisor? One that understands and deals with crypto? Would I do that online, or locally?
How about a lawyer? I wonder if any accept crypto.
Should I power down? If so, how much, the whole amount? I have almost zero experience with powering down. For more than 4 years, every single day, I've powered up. That singleminded strategy failed me for years, but I stuck with it, and just in the past few days for the first time, it has panned out. It seems that when you have 17000 of something, big price moves can really impact your bottom line! (Yes, I know 17k isn't many compared to a lot of people, but mine were all earned through payouts, how many of them can say that?)
Once I get it into Bitcoin, assuming I can't just send her the grand total converted to BTC, what methods should I use to get it into a form she would accept? Would I want to deal with the government agency responsible for collecting such funds, or go directly to her? We haven't spoken in years, but I have a feeling that money will make that a possibility. But maybe it would be best just to send it right to the state and let them pay it out to her?
Then there's taxes. Right now, I'm caught up on yearly taxes, and they're extremely simple. Just a tiny amount of disability income, nothing else, no deductions, no business anymore. But I assume this is going to be considered "income" at some point. Splitting that over 2 years might make sense? Some in December, some in January? I might need to pay for some advice on that. Any opinions welcome. I'm not trying to get out of paying taxes, as much as I fancy myself a Libertarian and so forth. If I have to pay, I'll set some of it aside, and pay. Fair enough. I don't want to complicate this by trying to skirt or minimize whatever I owe fair and square. I also don't want to get worked over, either!
Would I use an exchange? I've never kept anything on an exchange, but if I need to use one, would it be Blocktrades?
I've heard there are blockchain-based services now, for loaning and borrowing funds. Would anything like that apply to me? Could I get an advance, pay them a fee, to get my 17000 up front? And then just pay them the weekly powerdowns as they come in? Or maybe is it possible to do that peer-to-peer, privately? Find someone with a bunch of liquid HIVE, or BTC, or even dollars, that I can borrow to make this happen... using my pending powerdowns as collateral?
Maybe I should just watch it for a few weeks and see where it goes, first? But to me that's getting into speculation, and not really my thing. I'm happy the dollar value of my tokens went up, yes. But I'm not interested in continuously playing the market to try and squeeze out more gains. I'm up, and I'm happy to spend/sell here. I don't need to catch the flying rocket (opposite of falling knife). I can make my life amazingly better just by getting my debt paid off. I don't need anything else! I'm willing to work and pay my way through life, as we should all be. I want to raise my children, take care of my wife, and manage my health the best I can. All I need for that is for these shackles to be off my wrists and ankles, brothers and sisters! That really will be enough to allow me to fly again. I've been through the pits of despair, and now I'm ready to soar above it all.
But I could still use some moral support. Anyone else going through this now? Anyone else been through something like this?
I may have missed some things, but that's about where I am now, and you can probably see why I need help! Without much warning, I went from a protracted holding pattern of grinding on the Hive blockchain, to having enough to break free of handcuffs that have kept me down for over 10 years. I spoke about compounding interest, but here's another concept: compounding hardships. My wife and I have lost parts of ourselves to get through and be standing here today. There's a saying that goes something like "you don't know how tough you really are and what you can handle, until there is no other option". We understand that now.
I don't want sympathy, and I don't want scorn. I've fucked up, and so have other people, that's not what this is about. This is about figuring out how I can use my 70000 CAD worth of HIVE to pay off a debt of that size that is keeping me subjugated to the state. Nobody is better off for this debt. It's hurting me, it's hurting my wife and baby, it's hurting my ex, and it's hurting my two children with her. The only entity benefiting from this debt is the state itself, which profits both financially (minor consideration) and by being able to control and punish me endlessly (major consideration). I want out. I want to pay the ransom, and get my life back. I can afford it now, and that's what I want to do.
Thank you so much to anyone who is able to offer advice or information.
DRutter