For some reason this year has really got me pondering a lot. I mean, upon consideration it's easy to understand why, my youngest child became an adult in late November and with that milestone reached my life is shifting into a new phase.
What's interesting is it seems like not at all that long ago when I used to pause for a moment between bathing detritus encrusted toddlers and milking goats and think that, "Hmm, I'll be 43 when these two heathens are grown." It always seemed like a long way away.
Well, now here I am, a mother with two grown offspring and facing then start of the next phase of my life.
Of course, me being me, I got a jump on it and am just about finished with my first year of at least three of mental health clinician training. I'm not having weird empty nest feelings of loss, rather my mind is contemplating on the different of it all.
In my family I was an older mother having my kids at 23. My great grandmother was 13 when she got married, my grandmas 15 and 16, and my mom 18. The thing that is weirding me out a bit though, is I've always had kids in my married life. I got married at 18 and right off the bat I was a step mom and a foster mom. I've been continually raising kids since I was a kid, it's going to be weird not having all the heathens around.
No wonder I am so tired, but that's a different blog post.
This morning the book of faces reminded me that ten years ago we had a batch of piglets on Valentine's Day, and as much as I loved those little pork rinds, it's the memories of my kids that bring me the most joy. Every parent reflects and sees the things they wish they had done better, I do this as well, but there's also a lot of reflection on my timeline that just brings me all out unmitigated joy.
Both of my children have chosen paths of service, as have many of my adopted children. I am so completely beyond proud of them all, and one way I am going to honor that spirit of doing is by continuing in the path of service myself.
Only this time I might be doing a little less bottle feeding and such.
But, I can't say that I won't miss the commentary like when my boy and I were watching AFV many years ago and he turned and looked at me and spouted, "Look Momma, he got hit right in the technicals."
Change is the perpetual given, and I'm here for it.
And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's non nurturing but rather helpful at times iPhone