Last night, I couldn't sleep. I was hyperactive. No sleep was forthcoming. And I kept moving from one app on my phone to another. Moving from Hive to Discord, and back to Hive. I didn't know what was going on. I was even awake enough to answer midnight calls from my friends. Then morning came and I slept.
This was the way I lived in the past, I could stay awake all night and sleep early in the morning. A few months ago, something changed. I slept more frequently during the day and I couldn't stay awake at night anymore. I was beginning to worry I wouldn't be able to do anything vital if I continued this way. Last night was different.
Today, I understood why. I have always been hyperactive. I could work from morning till night and still stay awake at night. The effect never registers and those were days when I was happy and had peace of mind. My peace had been taken when the magnitude of my bankruptcy and debt crawl up upon me. The weight was so much for a young lady that sleeping too much became a thing for me.
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There wasn't a single day I wouldn't sleep from morning till evening and still sleep again at night. I had no idea what was happening to me. Most days, I wondered if I wasn't the same person who barely sleeps at night.
What changed? I am winning. And for the first time in the last 6 months, I have found Peace. My debt has been cleared, in my mind, of course, only, a few thousand are left. This time I am no longer worried or shaken. I can handle the remaining ₦150,000. You have to applaud me because I miraculously gun down close to ₦1,000,000 in debt to ₦150,000. Just a few weeks ago, it was sitting at ₦250,000. Yesterday, I was closed to breaking it down to ₦150,000. Although my bank had issues receiving my funds, it was no bother because I knew the money will come today.
In the afternoon, when I hit the " repay now"* button, and everything went green, I heaved a sigh of relief. Throughout today, I didn't think of sleeping. I kept being hyperactive. I can't even tell you how much content I have consumed today..... A lot.
Now, if someone sleeps too much, check carefully, the person is sad. Sadness has a way of sending us to bed faster, with the hopes that the problems will go away when we wake up. It happened to me. I am saying this from experience.
There were times when this room(my house) didn't feel like home. I started comparing it to my old house in my hometown. I thought it had something to do with this place. It wasn't this place, it was me. I wasn't happy internally, and it affected my environment too. Today, my house felt like home for the first time since I got here.
Now, my head is steaming with things I would love to do. Oh gosh, my real self is 100% back. I am no longer worried. ₦150,000 is chicken change. If I could nail ₦1,000,000 down to this amount, then, this is a small thing. I can do it.
I realized my hyper-activeness returned because the burden of being a slave to debt had been taken away. And I have no worries anymore. With everything this part of my life has taught me, I am positive that I will do better with my finance from here on.
I am so happy to have my true myself return. The sense of satisfaction. The beauty of being happy. Contentment. Peace. Hopefulness. It's spreading around me as I speak and I promise to never have to make financial mistakes that will take this joy away again. So help me God!
Finally, I can stay awake at night as I used to. The thing that took away my peace of mind and replaced it with lots of sleep is gone. Gone for good. 🥰