At the end of this latest chapter I read, Schwartz distills his five procedures that can make your life instantaneously better. This is essentially a quick start guide to living “the good life”. One filled with success and positivity.
I’m not a big self-help guy. I don’t like the books, videos and podcasts that are made by people who just like to jazz up the audience. They just say the things that people want to hear and never give actionable points to put into practice right then and there.
The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz
"So, to think confidently, act confidently. Act the way you want to feel.”
Schwartz is different. Much like a Tim Ferriss book, Schwartz ends this chapter with some practical things that you can use right now. After all, what’s the point in reading a book if you cannot actually use what you read.
"1. Action cures fear. Isolate your fear and then take constructive action. Inaction—doing nothing about a situation—strengthens fear and destroys confidence.”
The last post I wrote about The Magic of Thinking Big dove directly in on this subject of action as the cure for fear. So many people are plagued by inaction — they are afraid to take the first step.
The cure for being afraid of taking the first step is to simply take the first step. As the popular saying goes — it is better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.
I tend to move fast and break a lot of things. I find myself asking for forgiveness often. Whether I jump head first into a new investment and it turns out to have bad timing or I’m simply at the gym and taking up a piece of exercise equipment that someone else was using first. The gym example is funny because if you go to the gym, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Sometimes people are using a machine and they walk away for a minute to do something else. I often see other people eying that piece of equipment and waiting to see if the person is coming back or if someone else is walking up to it. Oftentimes, that person’s hesitation allows for someone else to walk up and take the machine before them. The person who missed out gets an angry look on their face and goes elsewhere.
Hesitation is wasted potential.
"2. Make a supreme effort to put only positive thoughts in your memory bank. Don’t let negative, self-deprecatory thoughts grow into mental monsters. Simply refuse to recall unpleasant events or situations.”
This portion stuck with me. In poker, investing and similar activities, you hear of people going on “tilt” — this is when they have made 1 or more bad plays in a row and have lost money and seem to be on a slippery slope of losing.
Going on tilt is a mental thing. It is not a physical manifestation. In the trader’s mind, he or she is now changing the way they invest based on the previous loss… chasing prior losses or trying to somehow balance out the scales.
Instead, the trader should take a step back, gather their thoughts and look at each trade as a new thing. Something in it’s own sphere and something to be evaluated based on its own merits. The trader should remind themselves that they are good at what they do and they need to focus on their strengths.
Focusing on losses begets more losses.
"3. Put people in proper perspective. Remember, people are more alike, much more alike, than they are different. Get a balanced view of the other fellow. He is just another human being. And develop an understanding attitude. Many people will bark, but it’s a rare one who bites.”
This is a big one for me. I’m not the most social person in the world and when I leave the comfort of my house & office to go to the gym or a restaurant or what have you, I tend to feel uncomfortable when there are a lot of people around.
This has always been a flaw of mine. Whenever there are a lot of people around, I feel drowned by the crowd, the noise and the constant voice in my head trying to gauge what other people are thinking about me and about the general atmosphere.
Putting people into perspective is something that I need to apply more in my life. When I feel uncomfortable, I ought to remind myself that people are just people.. like me. They have thoughts, desires and secrets just like I do.
Everyone wants to be noticed and everyone also wants to be unnoticed at times. We are complex creatures, but we are equals.
"4. Practice doing what your conscience tells you is right. This prevents a poisonous guilt complex from developing. Doing what’s right is a very practical rule for success.”
When I was in school, I used to get in trouble a lot. I also used to lie about doing homework, studying for tests and all sorts of stuff along those lines. Thus, I know exactly how taxing it is to have a multitude of lies going on simultaneously.
It’s like a spiderweb of useless shit that you have to remember. It wreaks havoc on your mind, even if you don’t realize it. Some people are impulsive liars. They can’t help themselves but to lie about every little detail.
The problem with spinning these complex webs of lies and deceit is that you are constantly forced to curve your actions to cater to your previous lies. You don’t want to get caught lying about something and so, you have to remember both the truth and the previous lie that you told.
Gary Vaynerchuk (a famous marketing “guru”) has a well-known saying — “doing the right thing is always the right thing”.
Applying this in your daily actions and behavior can help to clear up a cloudy mind that is plagued by webs of deceit. Not every lie you tell will be a huge one, it can be something small that you say to someone in passing. Every time you do something that you feel guilty about, you are adding unnecessary weight to your shoulders.
"5. Make everything about you say, “I’m confident, really confident.” Practice these little techniques in your day-to-day activities: Be a front seater. Make eye contact. Walk 25 percent faster. Speak up. Smile big.”
As I said, social confidence is not my forte. Schwartz goes into more detail in the chapter itself about each of these “confidence” points.
I actually heard elsewhere about this walking 25% faster idea and I have been doing it recently. It does make a noticeable difference. When I walk faster, I notice that I feel more alive.
It makes you feel like you’ve got something important to do and honestly, it makes you feel more important.
As I said at the start, these are just some simple “hacks” that Schwartz is giving at the end of a much more expansive chapter on each of these ideas. We often hear good things that we should do but more often than not, people lose sight on those things as life intervenes.
Instead of waiting for life to throw something else my way and cause me to forget what I just read, I choose to write it down and keep it with me as I walk around in my regular day. It is especially helpful when the author makes the points clear and actionable (as Schwartz has done with the above 5).
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