Mostly, and understandably, most of the time, you know what you want in life. What was lost, what was created, or what existed in between, everything happened for a reason. Nothing is going to exist because you wanted, as the world falls on its own. I understand that things you did for yourself always happened because of you , which made something to lose, something to catch, either part of happiness or sadness.
In all these, what you truly wanted was right in front of you? But it never happened because we were just busy doing something that pleased us for a while, a distraction. What could have possibly happened was beyond. I can't be everywhere, but within the constraints of what I can change, I have never tried. Maybe because I prioritized being around a fallen world put right in front of me, rather than creating one. In between, we all create our own world, but with that, when we prioritize happiness in reflection to society, we lose something that lies beneath us. Maybe I just got lost in between.
Sometimes, the ability to go beyond for someone else is rare. One thing to remember is that when we can't live up to self-expectation, not to run accusation on someone else happiness put for you. Wasn't it something special? If you make your happiness in a relationship beyond self, you are putting the burden of liabilities for others.
What am I looking for? a purpose..that was listed a long time ago...or did I find it again.