You know I'd love to go with option 4 but I'd get way too carried away and probably make people blush. I'd definitely make myself blush. Tempting butt... I decided to err on the side of caution. Wait, did I spell that incorrectly just now?
Anyway, I digress.
It was a pretty average day at home I would guess, except there were people moving around the house a lot. My parents had hired some contractors to do renovations on the house and today the electrical people would be there.
Probably wouldn't be a very exciting day for me. There would be a lot of adults talking about stuff I didn't really understand. There were different colour wires hanging out of the walls in places a little later on that day, wires that needed to be connected up. I remember hearing my parents talking about the fact that the house only came with two electrical points when they bought it, it was so old.
Run around run around, give mommy a leg hug....run around some more. What is a 4 year old to do?
Oh I recognize that guy...but where do I know him from? I saw him a few days ago, he was at that beautiful wedding we went to. That was a lot of fun. There was dancing and everyone was in the garden. It had been so nicely decorated. The tables looked so pretty and that big palm tree - all the birds flew into it to roost when the sun had gone down.
Yes, that's definitely where I know him from. I should go say hello.
I walked over to him smiling and loudly exclaimed "Hello. You're the man who's wedding cake my parents stole"
Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say and I got into big trouble after that. I was just being honest - probably my best quality at the time. You see my mom and dad had been enjoying themselves. I remember there being a lot of champagne being given out from trays and my parents had drank quite a few of them.
My mom used to have a black, square bottomed drawstring cloth hand bag. It was decorate with hand embroidered flowers and birds and it was even adorned with little circular mirrors. I loved that bag, she used to take it almost everywhere with her.
Apparently my father had noticed at the cake cutting ceremony that the second tier (there were only three) of the cake was exactly the same size as the bottom of my mothers hand bag.
I'm willing to bet that my mother did not support what happened next and unfortunately I bore witness to the whole thing - so much so that I could report on it a few days later...to the owner of said cake.
Looking back on it now, I am almost sure that my mother wanted to just crawl into a little hole and disappear out of embarresment. I don't think my father was as ashamed or apologetic though. It unfortunately spoiled the friendship and for over two decades, the wires hanging out of the walls in various places of the house were never connected to anything and the job was never completed.
It was my best performance at embarressing my parents, albeit unwittingly. I've never quite duplicated it. I think my mom probably didn't think it was my best effort though, she was not particularly impressed. I think she may have been more angry with my father though. Needless to say there was a lot of wedding cake that was eaten in silence over the next while. It was marzipan covered fruit cake - I didn't really like it. It tasted like guilt and dishonesty and I didn't see that electrician again.
This is not fiction.
