The Weekend-Engagement / Childhood Memories.

Thinking back on my childhood memories, some good and some bad ones came to mind. There was one particular memory that had quite a daunting effect on my life even through my adulthood, I've haven't fully come to terms with it yet I don't think.

Picture from Unsplash

The day I accidently killed my sisters kitten.
I was only 9 years old, it was my sister's eleventh birthday and my parents bought her a little ginger kitten as a surprise. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen, my mother handed the little ball of fur to me so I could cuddle it. Roaming through the house caressing the little bundle of joy purring away kissing it on it's wet pink nose; it felt so warm and soft in my arms.
Then I walked into the front garden.... there he was!..... "the black haired monster" his name was Greggory, (I won't say his surname) his beady little green eyes searching for trouble ,his chubby cheeks puffed up with air, blowing spit bubbles through his slimy lips, the sight of him made my blood curdle.

Greggory was a spoilt brat that lived next door who was notorious for his bullying, attacking girls only, pulling their hair and wrestling them, he wouldn't do it to the boys because being the coward he was, was scared of them.
He was the only child, at first everyone thought his parents were his grand-parents, because they looked so old.
Greggory was ten years old, I'm sure he was ADHD, of cause in those days no-one knew about ADHD and hyperactivity in kids.
My father always said, he needed a bloody good hiding; he was an irritation, a bully and not very well liked in the neighborhood, he just couldn't resist making some one cry.
The houses in our street were semidetached which gave Greggory easy access to our garden uninvited, which unfortunately, was at that precise moment I happened to be carrying the precious little kitten.
"What have you got there", he asked, his sweaty grubby little hands reaching out grabbing the kitten by it's neck.

My own Art work (rough sketches) of my memory

"Don't touch it, leave it alone", I screamed at him. Greggory wasn't going to give up, he grabbed the kitten and pulled, I pulled as well in the opposite direction, trying to protect it from him.
It was at that moment when I heard the kitten yelp once, then lay limp in my arms, it happened so fast, shocked and terrified of what had just taken place; I felt numb, I couldn't believe this precious little life was snuffed out in an instance, just like that.
I yelled at Greggory who was by now scampering away over the wall.
I ran into the house screaming hysterically, my mother taking the limp kitten from me, my father emerged from the bedroom to see what the commotion was all about, observing the shock expressions on their faces, waiting for no explanation I turned and ran as fast as my legs could carry me.
I ran down the street and up the hill to hide behind the Chinese Shop.

I felt my whole world had come to an end, I'd killed my sisters kitten, I was a cat murderer, no one would forgive me, I just couldn't go home,...not ever.
I sat on the step of the Chinese Shop and cried my eyes out, my heart had broken in two that day, it was a terrible accident.
I sat behind the shop until it started getting dark, oblivious to the fact that everyone in the neighborhood was searching for me.
I felt nauseas with distraught, while sitting there with my head in my hands, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, frightened and exhausted, I sighed with relief when I looked up into the face of Mr Wong, the Chinese Shop owner.
He was a kind gentle soul, and knew all the kids in the neighborhood.

He sat down next to me on the step and listened intently to my sad story, then took my hand and told me to come with him reassuring me everything would be just fine.
He took me into his shop where he told his wife to take me into the other room and give me something to eat and drink, she was also kind and gentle, pulling out a chair for me and gesturing to take a seat, she brought me a bottle of Coke-Cola and a doughnut.
Burping between sips of Coke and eating the doughnut, I hadn't realized how hungry I was.
Suddenly a full grown ginger cat jumped onto the table in front of me and just sat and stared with out blinking.
I froze for a moment, wondering if it knew I was a cat killer.

Picture from Unsplash

It sat there motionless for a good few minutes before Mrs Wong shooed it off, I thought my heart was going to stop.
Then Mr Wong came back into the room indicating to his wife that he was going to take me home.
Not knowing what to expect when I got there; all I knew, I was glad Mr Wong was coming with me, I felt safe with him.
We walked in silence down the hill until we reached the front door, it was open, I could see the relief on my mothers face when she saw us, Mr Wong and Mom exchanged kind words to each other, my mother couldn't thank him enough for bringing me home.
I took a long time to get over that incident, a few weeks later I saw Greggory outside in the road, he had some nasty remarks about me killing the cat.

I rolled my hand into a fist, stood back and took the widest hardest swing a nine year old could and landed a punch between his eye and nose, I'd been wanting to do that for a very long time, I gave Greggory a blue eye and a bloody nose that day, he ran off squeaking like a little piglet.
It wasn't long after that, Greggory and his parents moved to another province, there was peace once more in the neighborhood.

I haven't gotten over that incident all together, I still have a phobia of children playing with baby animals especially cats and puppies, I'm afraid for the little thing.
When I see a cat especially a ginger one I have to walk away from them, although, strangely enough, cats always come and sit on my lap and rub up against me making me feel awkward, I don't dislike them, I'm just afraid of them since that terrible day so long ago. I wish I wasn't because I love animals and would like to get closer to cats, I think they're beautiful, just can't embrace them.

Well.... that is my contribution to #weekend-engagement thank you @galenkp for making it possible for me to share my experience with the weekend community.
Mmmmm......I feel by sharing this post, it's given me some what inner healing about cats.