When one has a particular experience with the death of others, fear takes on a different meaning.
My experiences with death, especially of family members and also my pets, I think are somewhat different from the rest, although other people can go through what I have gone through.
Knowing in advance that they are leaving is not nice, but at the same time it helps me to prepare myself.
Experiences I have had countless times, with many of my family members, almost all of whom are now deceased and with the pets I have had before as well.
From dreaming of their death, to seeing them go, months before they do, to experiences before they leave and after they leave. I has lived through all of that.
The experiences that have been the strongest in my life are those that have to do with my grandmother and with one of my first pets, called Roñy.
In the case of my grandmother, I knew she would die more than six months before it happened, on four occasions I was presented with images of it, without knowing what it was, and then I discovered it.
Days before she died, I was next to her in the hospital, when she was in a coma, and I would talk to her and tell her how much I loved her. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. For those who say that people in comas don't listen, I can tell you that they do, they just can't communicate.
After she left, I had the most powerful experience of my life when she came to see me and say goodbye. I wasn't dreaming, I was awake and I saw her at her most beautiful. It made me feel what it is like to be where she is and I tell you that I wanted to go with her, but she said no.
Then in dreams she came to visit me and warn me of events. They all came true. She is like a guide now.
As for my pet Roñy, he was a street cat, I found him in 2001, he lived 14 years and I think he died of sadness because months before my other cat Tuty had died, and I think he did something heroic for me.
Between him and me there was a unique connection just by looking at each other, he was my guardian always.
When he was diagnosed with kidney failure, the vet told me: I don't know how he is still alive. And I thought: I do know why, to take care of me.
When he was very bad, he looked me in the eyes, I took his paw and told him: I'll be fine, you have to go and stop suffering. He sighed and just walked away. I think they are magic, they are.
These experiences have made me understand many things about death and what is after, as well as issues related to the soul, they gave me knowledge and security.
I have suffered a lot of pain from these deaths and others in my life and I have also suffered a lot of fear, fear for them, not for what I suffer but for what they go through.
But I believe that fear is part of life, and it keeps us alert, it is an emotion that makes me human and that we learn from. The same for pain.
In the last 10 years, I have lost my 49 year old cousin, a very young man, my cousin last year and my aunt this year. Also a pet Lissa, a beautiful kitten who was always delicate, but I was able to give her six and a half years of life. Many of my former students, whom I loved very much, have also died... I have lost a lot of people in the last few years. And every time I felt fear, but if I took a drug that would take it away... it would erase those experiences and even the memory of all those people.
Even if it hurts, I would never erase that, because they were all special to me, they are part of my life. They are ugly memories their deaths, but there are also beautiful memories and I focus on them, I don't want to erase them. I wouldn't take any drugs to do that ever.
Life is made up of beautiful and ugly moments, and also fears, brave is the one who faces them and moves on, that makes me stronger. Why erase that?
What do you think about these issues? Do you have experiences similar to these weekend themes proposed by 
I send you a big greeting, wishing you a very good weekend.
Amonet.
Used translator Deepl.com free version.
