This is the first winter of my life; I come from a Caribbean country where there is no winter. My body and mind have had to adjust to a new situation, and this seems to be affecting me in various ways. Although I am not depressed, moving to a place very different from where I come from, losing my mother a year ago, adapting to a new society, leaving behind my family, my friends, and my familiar surroundings have been many changes at once. It is true that in a short time I have managed to join groups where I feel comfortable: the book club, the flamenco choir, the English-Spanish exchange group. But sometimes I am still overcome by nostalgia, a feeling of loss. In this very rainy and cold winter, all those feelings seem to have become more present.

Adapting is a law of survival. As Darwin explained in his theory of the origin of species, the fittest survive. When I arrived in Spain, I did so under positive conditions. I have had support from the person I live with and their family, as well as some friends. All my basic needs are covered. I have done everything I needed to do to adapt to this new context. But without a doubt, the arrival of winter has affected me physically and emotionally.

During the weeks of rain and strong winds we had in Andalusia, I had to stay at home much longer than usual, I had to cancel some activities, I ate more than usual, and I gained a lot of weight. This has led me into a kind of inertia that I reproach myself for. I have stopped doing important professional activities. I know I have to plan them and do them. This is the case with digital marketing. If the services I offer are not visible, I don't get any clients. I've been procrastinating for weeks. Every weekend I say to myself, “It's been another wasted week, I can't go on like this. I haven't even written any articles for Hive.” But the week goes by and everything stays the same. The week is over and I've done little or nothing of what I have to do.

It's also true that I've focused on the in-person activities I do and on projects I'm working on with my partner. But these are activities that generate very little or no income for me. But there are 24 hours in a day, and at the end of the day, I had free time that I could have spent planning and executing pending projects, and I didn't. I kept procrastinating, and of course, my professional projects aren't moving forward. Perhaps the situation doesn't help—the cold, the rain, domestic demands. However, that doesn't justify me. It's not possible that March has arrived and I'm still in this rut, with my bank accounts empty, because I keep procrastinating. I've had to ask my partner for help to cover my basic expenses. That's not right.

I must admit that my current situation is not easy. I am in a country where I am a foreigner. I will soon turn 60. Having a steady income that will allow me to get a pension is no easy task. That is why my alternative is to look for income online. But that is not easy either. I do not know how to use the digital tools that would allow me to do so. To devote myself, for example, to remote work. For now, I have taken some online courses, and I spoke to a friend and asked her to let me know if she hears of any opportunities for in-person work. A simple job, like serving customers in a store or something like that. Maybe later, in the summer, when the weather is better and there are more tourists, I'll be able to find a job more easily. To be honest, the best way to improve and change my current situation is to fight against the demotivation that is holding me back. I have to stop procrastinating.

Since my native language is not English, I have had to rely on the Deepl.com platform to translate this article into English.