Around 2000 years ago Jesus came back from the dead, or so the story goes, and inspired one of the biggest communities in human history. His story is full of wisdom for those who seek it, and many people have found tremendous comfort in it.
Not only in Jesus. In all spirituality. And they all have one thing in common – that we’re not alone. Ever. God(s) are everywhere with us. Especially in these days of fragmentation of communities, the separation from our peers and the seclusion behind screens, sincere spiritual practice can fill those gaps.
Quantity or Quality?
Being lonely is not about how many friends one has. I remember having many friends, but with time, the amount reduced to a few very good, very intimate friends. And many acquaintances, yes. My community is big, and I love that. I enjoy it.
Especially right now. There are those moments these days that I feel lonely. Not because I’m alone, but because Lily is gone. It’s the perception of missing that one connection. All others are intact and thriving – Ellie and I are doing great, my family is calm as I am calm, my friends all support me whatever way I ask them to, my community is aware and respectful.
Again, quality over quantity.
They all can’t make up for Lily’s bear hugs. For her endless talking. For her smile. The endless joy of listening her breath while sleeping. I recall those feelings. I breath in deeply, and remember the situation, how it felt. I focus on it. I let it spread through my whole body. A sensation of peace and love, bringing order into my mind, contrasting the speeding thoughts of doom spirals.
It really helps. It was meant to help me confront the mother, stay calm and focused every time I had to deal with her and hence expose myself to her constant attacks, the toxicity, the passive aggressiveness as well as the very active aggressiveness. It was meant to focus on listening to her, and filtering out the important part while ignoring the provocations. And now it helps me to feel less lonely. Quite versatile that technique.
I’m impressed.
A curious side effect of Lily being away is I’m saving quite a huge amount of money now. I was paying the school fees, ballet, piano classes, acrobatics, and therapy. Also most of the clothing, doctors, a private health insurance, and of course child support. All that money will now go into a savings account.
I still remember the first time around, when Lily was 6 months old and the mom pulled the same. A policeman, involuntarily summing up the general perspective on fatherhood here, told me: “At least you don’t have to pay child support now.” I was quite angry back then, but now the perspective has changed. I’d rather keep paying and knowing my daughter being here, in a stable and healthy environment for her.
But since I can’t influence that for now, well…
The most important part to saving money is something entirely different, though. Sleeping. The more you sleep, the less you can spend. And you’ll feel better. But it doesn’t work for everyone. The more I sleep, the more energy I have, the more I get done per minute awake and the more I resemble my favorite animal – a squirrel. Squirrels are awesome and the best and when I invent the body converter, I’ll become human by day, squirrel by night. Or something like that.
Purpose.
Yes, I wanted to end this text with an attempt to humor. Important to keep that alive. Life is worth living while we have something to laugh about. I wish you all a wonderful rest of the weekend - or start into the week, depending on where you are.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI.
Post written for the #weekend-engagement by 
This is my response to:
1/ Have you ever found yourself to be lonely? Why and how did you deal with it?
2/ If you could change yourself into an animal which would it be and why?
3/ How do you minimise your weekly living costs? Explain.
Thank you for reading!