It's the first weekend of the year and the topics of the #weekend-engagement are always here to keep us company and give us a good time of thinking.
Let me tell you the truth. I think I have never found myself in a bar with the intention of hitting on someone. I've seen a lot of it in movies, but since I stay too much at home it's not the kind of scenario I would imagine myself going to find me a date or hook up.
Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong.
But I would say there's a certain charm to the idea. If I spotted a girl that catches my attention by her looks, I would try to do some reckon without getting too much attention. Try to analyze the body language to determine if she's single and open to meeting new people, know what she's having. Some features of her physique might play a role in there too, but my tastes on that area are too diverse to explain them all.
My initial idea to approach things like these in other setups is being my goofy self. It always gives you enough information to know whether people are into you or not. Those who deem you too ridiculous for their fancy pants will ignore you. The rest might find themselves comfortable to establish some conversation. So breaking the ice is the hardest part and even if you fail, the attempt might give you enough luck to score a friend and maybe a smooch.
However, my approach in a bar might be the kind of thing my best friend taught a while ago. He's a master of starting conversation with the most random facts you could imagine. It's like the setup of a joke that never reaches its punchline. It's a really interesting technique because it works just the same as being a goof. You can already see what people would be willing to start a conversation after dropping such a bomb as that there exists a type of soil in the Amazon Rainforest called "terra preta", which could make something like the sands of a desert grow an apple tree.
But just don't use that unless you're some Botanics expert or you can tell your target likes plants.
Usually, I don't do stuff when I like people that are around me and just keep my thoughts and goof to myself. Sometimes, this works just as good as the previous ideas. There's a certain mystique woven into the silence of someone who is lost in thought and minding their own business. And in case you don't believe me, I can tell you such a demeanor has gotten me into having coffees, beers, meals and great conversations more than once. Never underestimate the power of silence.
Besides that once the whole ice is broken, it would be very easy to keep the ball rolling since listening is my main language skill in both English and Spanish. Not that I don't like to talk, but I love conversation. And that's more than just a transaction of words and speech. It takes a certain degree of finesse you can only attain when you practice listening. I wouldn't dare to use pick up lines to try to hit up on someone I don't actually know. Those things are the kind of cheesy that causes cringe. And they are not even elegant even if you try your best.
That's how I would go around to start some conversation with a girl I find attractive in a bar. My desired outcome for the moment would be to know this person a bit better and see if there's any potential in a relationship area. What kind of relationship would come out of it, I can't tell. But having a good time often leads to great friendships and with luck to more than that.
- Photos 📷: taken by me (Redmi Note 8)
- Editing 🎬: by me, made with Adobe Photoshop Lightroom.
Follow me on Instagram for enquires and commission.
If you'd like to help the workshop grow, you can make a donation here.
You can find me at discord as bertrayo#1763