Shared weekend
You get to spend the weekend with one of the people/characters listed below. Who do you choose and why, and what does your weekend look like - what discussions do you have? (Beware of using images that don't belong to you or are not free-to-use stock images which must be credited with a link)
Leonardo da Vinci
Lara Croft (from Tomb Raider)
Neo (from the Matrix)
A homeless military veteran
Adolf Hitler
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Viktor E. Frankl
Napoleon Bonaparte
Your 90 year old self
Source
"JOANNNE WILL YOU HAND ME UP YOUR LEG RAZOR PLEASE." I want Adolf to shave his little square moustache so the lads down in the local pub don't cop on to who they are going to be talking to , if you don't mind me saying Adolf the most infamous evil dictator that ever lived."
"You don't want my friends to know you do you Adolf??"
"Nein"
"You may as well put some gel in that hair as well. Spike it up a bit. Throw them off the scent."
"Nobody likes a flathead haircut these days."
"Take that red swastika off your arm will you. You are not in the Tiergarten now. You are in Co Tipperary Ireland for some reason and you are staying the weekend with me. Joanna even told me she washed swastika underpants last night. Someone is a bit extreme. Friday nights we go to the pub so quick smart. You Austrians are very punctual so I want to be in the pub with a pint in my hand by 8pm.
And remember we say Cheers when we get drinks and not Sich Heilen!! We don't want those looks again. "Prost will do" or "Gesundheit"! And keep that arm down by your side. Fuck my life Adolf you are hard work. But I realise you can't teach an old Hund new tricks.
What's that......??
No is the answer. There are no jews in the pub. There are not many jews in Ireland as a matter of fact. Although some of my friends would peel an orange in their pocket rather than buy a round of drink but that's just stereotyping. I met many a tight German man as well Adolf so don't be throwing stones in glass houses. Don't worry about the jews.
What?
No , there are no Israeli's either in Tipperary as far as I know. The last Israeli that came to the town was run out of it by Palestine Joe. Joe said you couldn't give those Israelis an inch because they would take a mile and then another one until all of a sudden you are in a refugee camp in your own country. We had that with the British so we tend to not look kindly on it.
Have you got your summer cap? It's getting quite hot!
Ja!
Hitler Hitler Hitler. You can't wear that!!
Is everything you own peppered by Swastikas?? Do you not have any normal accessories?
Here put on this Tottenham cap, it will keep you cool.
No Tottenham are not a Jewish club. Everyone supports them now.
Come on now let's go.
15 minutes later.....
Hey lads I would like to introduce you this random Austrian man who is staying with me this weekend. His name is Theo. First time over here. He thinks the weather is great here.
Theo, Konnen sie unsere Mäntel aufhängen bitte?
Ja.
Where did you get him from
Ah a friend of mine from Galen from Australia needed a dig out so I am looking after him for the weekend.
Whatever you do lads. Don't mention the fucking war!!!!!
Seriously not a word.
sssshhhhhh. he is coming back.
Theo you look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere??
Nein.
Wo wohnen Sie?
In Argentina
ahemmm Ado... I mean Theo lives in Buenos Aires. Beautiful part of the world.
That's cool Theo.
What made you move to Argentina?
Der Krieg.
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH enough about Argentina, the weather has been lovely so far here in mid June. Myself and Theo are gonna head around Ireland for the weekend. Drink a few cans, and get one ball here some action. Great weather for it.
Yeah it is so nice out there wasn't even dew on the grass this morning,
Was ist dew?
Not to worry Theo, not what you are thinking about.
You want to go to the toiletten?
Kein Problem. Das ist in die erste zimmer auf die linke seite.
Did you see the weather forecast for the weekend?? It is pissing out of the heavens so you and your friend will be disappointed!!
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Jaysus I had some big plans for the both of us to tour the sights and now we will be able to do fuck all.
Your friend seems a bit highly strung. How are you going to tell him it will be raining the whole weekend.
With great bloody difficulty. He will hit the roof. He has a short fuse. He had his swimming trunks packed and all and some of his top comrades are coming in first thing in the morning. I will get them to break it to him while I sleep off the hangover.
