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I have lost many things in my life. So much so that it was the main subject matter at my wedding speech by my father.
"My son has a history of losing things and I have been given a list of the things he has lost."
"This list is not exclusive or exhaustive."
"He has lost 8 wallets and 10 jackets."
"Some fella called Copper Jack has them apparently!" (In reference to famous Dublin nightclub Copper Face Jacks)
"He has lost 15 scarfs and 26 hats and countless gloves"
"He lost Street Fighter 2 Turbo on his way home from the shop in the snow when he was 7."
"Then he lost Mariokart a year later."
"Myself and his mother thought he was on drugs."
"He lost 12 jumpers that his mother brought him but I think these magically disappeared on purpose."
"He lost 2 ipods and 5 iphones."
"He lost his adidas predators"
"He lost a pitching wedge recently on the 8th hole."
"And he lost a kindle whatever that is."
Today in the weekend engagement I would like to talk about one jacket in particular that I lost. I know where I lost it even but I never got it back. It was the usual. Drunken escapade. I lost my jacket in Leeds in the UK of all places. I was going to see Manchester United play Tottenham in Old Trafford around 2004 and the hotels in Manchester were a bit pricey so my friend suggested Leeds which we heard was a bit mad place to go drinking in so Leeds was nailed down as our base location and we would go to the match from there.
I had this black velvet parka jacket for around a year and I wore it everywhere. Velvet you say with an Ancellotti eyebrow raise.
It wasn't Austin Powers velvet. It was discreet black Velvet parka. This is the last photo that was taken of me wearing the jacket outside Old Trafford.
After this we got back to Leeds and we started doing a bit of a pub crawl. We went to some glamorous locations with some excellent facilities. We managed to pick up a semi homeless man who made it his role to show us to the next pub. There was a bit of a gap between his taste in pubs and our ideas of pubs but we went with him like kids following the piped piper none the less.
Top class toilet facilities however. We said we should ditch homeless Joe after his friend offered us the services of his 20 year old daughter who also became part of our entourage. It ended up being a run for your life type scenario. A velvet jacket is not normally the thing in these type of establishments so I was keen to get rid of said jacket as soon as we entered but in the urgency on leaving, I managed to leave it behind.
So we managed to find a pub that was not seedy underworldy although it is hard enough in Leeds. And we took refuge for the weekend in this place for the rest of the weekend. There was a horsey outside the bar.
Anyway back to the jacket. On returning home to safety, I put the jacket down as written off. The bar would have no email address nor was I going to write to them.........
Dear finest bar took. I am writing to you in pensive mood for I have left my velvet jacket in your fine establishment....
The jacket was no more. Homeless Joe was most likely to be wearing it by now thinking he was royalty. I looked in shops to find the one but the season was no more and the velvet trend had long since departed. I loved that jacket though. To this day I still search online for it but I cannot find it. The brand is not a rare one as I think it was River Island or Next or some brand like that. I never have seen anyone else in it. Maybe because nobody would be caught dead in it.
I am not a fancy dresser and I always wear plain enough clothes but I normally push the boat out with the jacket as like every man that grew up in the Brit pop era would tell you. I had many a snazzy jacket over the years but old velvety will always be sorely missed.
My wife has given up buying me jackets since I lost a leather one that she purchased for me for around 500 quid. I lost that in an early house in Hamburg. Since I have all but given up the booze as I am a responsible father now, my wardrope is heaving. I am not losing any items of clothing anymore which means I have to cull through a more decision making process. Whenever I do go out , my wife ensures I have the shit jacket on which defeats the purpose of buying nice jackets in a way.
Without any wars there is a surge in population. Without any booze there is a surge in my clothing collection. If by any chance 
