Well, I'll start by saying that I'm not a big fan of Margaret Thatcher.... In fact, I mention it because my friend, has used a good quote from her in this week's engagement and community topics. Equally, if there is one thing that this woman has always had, and that I have always admired, it is her unwavering perseverance. In that sense, many women leaders share traits that are admirable to us women. And I think the time has come this week to share a confession with you; and I'm sure it hasn't just happened to me?
I have decided to use a photo I have taken of a fountain, in a park very close to my house, to exemplify two concepts: the first one, "the fountain of life". We have all heard it, at least once, haven't we? And two, what female ejaculation is and how it is produced, or, as perhaps you know it better, since it has been named thanks to pornography as "Squirting". In my case, it was when I was already quite "big". Understand that in western societies, being 17 years old is absurdly considered an ambiguous stage of life. That is to say, you are "old" enough to know multiple sexual concepts such as "orgasms, or positions" but not enough to have a beer?
Odd but real. And it was in exploring the typical pressures of my adolescence that I came across pornography of this very specific type (squirting). I don't really remember exactly how it happened, but I do remember the impact it had on me. You see, at that time, my life was in transition. I was leaving my mentality of purity and naivety closer to childhood, to break with the curiosity of mischief and lust. Right in the middle of both "worlds". So, there I was. Next to my laptop, a primitive internet, and totally dumbfounded at the sight of those women spurting "liquid" in those videos.
But I remember that my first impression after the surprise, was total rejection and disgust. I thought that the world of pornography was some kind of unforgivable sin for mankind. I was raised under a strict Roman Catholic upbringing, so proper sexual exploration, let alone proper sex education were unspeakable topics. There was simply no talk of sex beyond the romantic idealisation of procreation.... A woman's purpose was twofold: to get married and to bring babies into the world. Otherwise, there was no other purpose.
However, what I have related above is a description of my first time in both senses: pornography and getting to feel a squirt. I remember asking my friends at the time, and they all looked at me like I had lice or was mangy, haha. Seriously, in my region, in my social circle and culture, the mere fact of talking about sexuality openly was synonymous with being someone "easy" or "worthless". Almost as if it was a kind of disrespect towards oneself. This had a huge influence on the way I perceived my body and the way I experimented with my sexuality and the ability to relate pleasure to curiosity....
So for me, the encounter with pornography was the opening window (which was about to be closed and never properly explored) towards the experimentation of a condition that not all women can feel: squirting. In my case, it was surprising but eventually enriching. With time, and the right sexual partner, I discovered what it's like to have a real one.... I'll tell you, it's a wonder. And like water spurting out of a fountain, creating puddles and ripples, what I've felt is very much like this... Did you have in mind that we girls could relate these two concepts in the same story?