Do we still need to celebrate the birthday of a person after his/her death?
In our case, Yes! We still need to celebrate the birthday of our loved one who passed away because we are grateful for the things and moments we shared together when they were still here with us. We celebrate their birthdays because their lives touched ours and made our lives more meaningful.
Four years have gone since the death of “Manang Esen”, my mother’s younger sister, confidant, and protector! She was the closest sibling to my mother despite their very opposite personalities; Manang Esen being loud and fighter while my mother being the quiet and peace-maker.
So, early in the Sunday morning (November 21), I asked my mother if she wanted to visit Manang Esen’s grave since it was her birthday. She said she wanted to but the cemetery is far and the means of transportation from the cemetery to our house is very difficult. I told her that I would drive for her and I could be her “habal-habal (motorcycle) driver” for the day. She was very happy with my offering so she hurriedly took a bath and prepared herself for the visit.
Before entering the cemetery in Pagsabungan, Mandaue City, Cebu, we stopped by to buy some candles. She said that she would not buy flowers because she was told by Manang Esen’s children that they already had bought flowers for their mother. The candle vendor was very generous because she lent their matches for us. I told my mother to buy some more to also light some candles to other relatives who passed away.
I immediately told my mother to use her umbrella because it was extremely hot. I thought it was really not the perfect time to come at this hour (2:00 PM) because you would be grilled by the excruciating heat of the sun. You might be thinking why did we choose to visit at that very hour. It was simply because I was also expecting visitors at 4:00 PM. So, we really had to go there that time.
Despite this very sunny afternoon, I did not hear any word of complaint from my mother. She was more grateful that I drove for her that afternoon than she was distracted by the sun. So, she walked straight to her sisters grave and I ran fast to follow and assist her. Then, I took the umbrella from her grip and offered to hold that for her so that she can concentrate more on her personal prayer for Manang Esen.
I gave my mother some time to say her prayers and maybe talk to her sister so I just shut my mouth and also closed my eyes to pray.
I prayed that she is now with our Almight Father in heaven. I prayed that she look after my mother and of course her family just like an angel. Aside from the prayers, I also silently vowed to Manang Esen’s grave that I will help her grandchildren especially on their studies, help them find scholarship grants, and help them financially if they ask for it.
After saying our personal prayers we decided to leave Manang Esen’s grave and started looking for other relatives graves so that we could also light a candle and say our prayers for them. Despite the excruciating heat, I was still thankful because there were no other visitors or crowd so we could easily find our relatives’ graves.
We found three, so as mentioned above, we lit some candles and prayed for their souls. I also found here the grave of my student who died last year because of Covid 19. He also had an ailment when he was in high school but his illness never hindered him to finish and graduate Senior High School. I also spent some time to pray for his soul.
After that, Mama and I decided to leave. I jokingly asked her if we should do the “pamahiin” or “superstitious belief” wherein we should cross over a smoke coming from a burning an incense powder on a charcoal like we were accustomed to when I was still a kid. She said that she no longer does that anymore! In an instant, I felt guilty because of that because it was me who was very strong against these kinds of practices and thinking.
I am very sorry Mama for ending almost all of your superstitious beliefs. So, I think I have to tackle about that so that you will understand the context.
There were so many superstitious beliefs and practices that I really find very awkward. I looked for answers, but they couldn’t provide me with something substantial until I learned that superstitious beliefs are a violation to my Christian faith. Growing up as a server in the Roman Catholic Church made me question all these and slowly, I corrected and educated my family that doing these practices and believing in these things were wrong and off. So, all these things were forgotten and stopped eventually.
Going back, my mother and I headed to my motorcycle which I parked in front of the cemetery’s chapel. But before I started the engine, I told my mother to rest for a while to regain our energy and strength from walking and sweating a lot because of the striking heat of the sun.
While having this, I thought of taking some pictures since there was enough supply of light from Mr. Sun. I really liked the shots because they were all very vibrant and sharp - no need for editing and enhancing of the images.
I just hoped that no ghost were captured while doing that, because that would be very creepy! But, I really doubted that they would appear in this extreme heat. If you like you can closely check the photos and see if there are signs of ghosts. Perhaps, you can verify if you have a third eye!
Conclusion
Visiting our loved-ones in the cemetery from time to time is a gesture of our love, gratitude, and respect for them. Let us not forget the things that they have shared to us when they were still with us because somehow they have made our lives worth living. Let them live in our hearts forever! ♥️
