Am I Happy With Who I Am?

_{A selfie just for you Hive account@galenkp.}

Mostly. Not entirely, but mostly.

I'm happy with my values. I show up when I say I will. I do what I say I'm going to do. I don't bullshit people. I take care of my family. I'm working on improving myself even when it's hard. Those things matter to me and I'm proud of them. Have a faltered in these areas, yes. But I've recovered and moved past it and made good on it.

I'm happy with my work ethic. I'm grinding through school. Studying for a certification. Building a business. Writing on Hive. None of it is easy. None of it has a finish line I can see yet. But I keep showing up anyway. That counts for something.

I'm happy that I've learned to work within my physical and mental health limitations instead of fighting them. Took me years to get here. Used to beat myself up for not being able to do what I used to do. Now I just figure out what I can do and do that instead. It's progress.

But there's shit I'm not happy with.

I'm impatient with myself and with others. I often times expect people to operate at a level they're not capable of and get frustrated when they don't. That's my problem, not theirs.

I still struggle with rest. Taking time off feels like failure even when I know it isn't. The guilt shows up every time. Working on it but not there yet.

I could be more present. My brain is always three steps ahead planning the next thing instead of being in the moment. My wife deserves better than half my attention and so do family and friends.

How do I improve? Same way I've been doing it, a little at a time. Mind, body, spirit. Small adjustments and energy audits. Paying attention to what's working and what isn't. Being honest with myself even when it's uncomfortable.

I'm not the person I was five years ago. I won't be this person five years from now. That's the goal, to keep moving forward. Keep getting better, not perfection, just better.

Thanks for reading,
Joe

_{Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using MS Paint and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.}