If you'll open your device to the sentence you're consumed by in the opening paragraph of this article, you'll be where you are right now. I'm there too. Hi! And they said I can't be in two places at the same time. This is easy. Stay tuned to year before last when we retrieve market items from the discomfort of our own walls but first, present, have I introduced me to you yet?
:knuckles:
If this is your first virtual audience appearance, what in the real fuck took so long?! I mean, welcome! Glad you could join us. Please be considerate to others by refraining from flash photography until after the performance however flashing is encouraged.
So this is how the shit goes down.
First thing I do is think of something. They say I'm creature of habit and I can't seem to do anything without thinking about it first so I guess they're right. Show-offs. Wether it's instinctual or methodical, it didn't go down without me thinking about it. Diagnosis—factory settings in recurrent headache mode. I'm a stubborn bastard, though, who's yet to discover the secret to starting something without thinking about it so I did what anyone else who pisses standing up would do. Leaned on my better half.
Add Ibuprofen to our portfolio we did—hashtag shareholders. Now I just willy nilly think about shit whenever I want and throw caution for pain out the window cuz I’m a remedy connoisseur like a palm tree on an umbrellaless day.
Gorgeous, stunna, that's what I call her, amazing, knock-out, stuff like that. She calls me handsome, husband, lovey-dovey handles but more often than not I'm Lenny. He's the retarded guy in Steinbeck's Of Mice And Men, hey! That isn't funny, knock it off!
It's because he breaks everything he touches dammit but thanks, I felt your empathy all the way over here. So do I, break everything that is. I don't hold kids because of it. My friends have always tried forcing their kids onto me, "they're comforting, here" expecting me to be receptive to an infant being passed around like a joint. 'Thanks but no thanks!' I'll wait til they're old enough to shake hands.
Lenny breaks a rabbits neck and kills a puppy just by petting the things. I broke an entire shelf of ceramic rabbits once by returning one to its original location.
He breaks the ranchers wife's neck, too, by admiring how soft her hair is. Last farm Pura and I worked I...
Where did you think that sentence was going?
We've never worked a farm. Car door handles however, mini blinds, priceless cutlery; snap - crackle - pop. Know anyone who's broken their own tooth brush in their own mouth with their own hand... twice?
Now you do.
I'm a.d.d and o.c.d and whatever the latest acronym is that describes 'like oh my God like totally infatuated with my grill okaaayy.' Teeth, chompers, those. Biannual inspections, cosmetic dentistry, I'm obsessed, drives Pura crazy. For as long as I can remember dentists have mentioned my gums appear irritated but x-rays are always negative.
I broke another toothbrush in my mouth a few months ago, that's two, it was a defining moment in my life. I put on my remedy connoisseur hat like a bat to chalk and smashed the catchers arm all the way back to the warning track.
They're on their feet at the blockchain!! It's going.... going....
Gone!
I brush my teeth with my left hand now.
Takes twice as long but my gums have since transitioned from a radishy / pomegranate color to a palm of my hand color so I'll make time which reminds me—blockchain activity.
My levels come and go. I'll do things like lead the engagement boards at 
After I think of something and Pura makes me look good and I don't break anything and I got a breath of fresh air, I go through my photos until something inspires me. One piece at a time, start to finish, then I edit the thing to death followed by a post button :click: tada! Recently something changed.
My notepad evolved from one complete article to, at the most, two, and the second's partially complete to what's in there as I type this—10 incomplete. Can't explain it. Haven't been able to go start to finish on a single piece for months.
So I work each of them a little more each time until something's ready to go—solved! Rather than 10 incomplete pieces, I call'em 10 in process pieces—remedy connoisseur. Gonna take some getting used to like ignoring naked guy at the gym who walks around the locker room with is junk swingin around and a towel around his neck but it's working cuz there's only nine in there now Look!!
