Alas, this weekend I was engaged in a spot of Bunburying and thus unable to join the weekend-experience proceedings. Rather than deny my regular readers their weekly glimpse into the mind of a self-declared genius, I am taking the forbidden, perhaps reckless, step of posting in the right community on the wrong day, well after the deadline.
I do so in the belief that:
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
And so, my esteemed reader, I will begin as I so often do — with my father. A more generous man you could not wish to meet. He would give anyone your last penny. He spent everything he ever earned, and more. He owned nothing, and he was happy.
“Money is for spending,” he would say, and he meant it. He would quite literally throw money around if it meant getting what he wanted.
Before the curse of mobile phones, if we needed to make a call we’d go to the GPO, where there was a long row of phone booths. They were always occupied, but my father, a man with little patience, had a solution. He would casually toss a handful of coins onto the floor and as doors would fly open with people abandoning their calls to grab the money, he would slip into the nearest vacant booth, victorious.
I have much the same attitude to money, though fortunately not his penchant for alcohol and floozies. I have always regarded cash as something to be spent. Not that I am extravagant, you understand, but when it comes to my contentment and well-being, money is no object.
Fortunately, my wants are few. I don’t drink, smoke, gamble, or douse myself in scented substances. I rarely travel, seldom buy clothes, have never had my nails done, haven’t been near a hairdresser in nigh on 35 years, and have zero interest in the electronic nonsense that many — not all, but many — of you spend your money on. In fact, you might say I am a shining example of the lifestyle you should all adopt to save the planet from that nasty carbon dioxide that will otherwise kill us all.
Some might say I was a spendthrift, ferrying my staff around in limousines and helicopters, putting them up in fine hotels, paying for a rather splendid honeymoon for my ex, or even arranging plastic surgery for someone I barely knew. But I prefer to think I was simply making money make sense.
The only money I have ever truly wasted is the vast sum the taxman relieved me of each year.
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Posted in response to Galenkp's Weekend experiences asking you 'Have you watsed money?
The images are mine