Right here and now, sitting and typing, I try to remember if I really have a happy memory with my parents, I guess I did but I could only remember the negative aspects, cause it was frequent, very frequent. Growing up as a child my dad was my hero, I loved him so much, I keep telling myself, probably if he did not live his life the way he lived it, we would have been best of friends.
WHAT HAPPENED?
My dad was very handsome, with a dashing beautiful smile. blessed with a good stature, 10 years older than my mum, you would never know. My dad cheated countless times, Growing up as a child, they always fought, but he never hit my mum, maybe I can say mum do fight him, if he didn't go out, he would bath, put on his favourite music and he would sleep. But mum wouldn't she would keep crying till I sleep off myself. Countless times mum packed up her bags and mine to leave but they would later resolve this, even after all this, I still adore my dad, I was closer to him than my mum. I keep wondering if it makes me a bad person, but how can you love someone who badly hurts the other person you love to the extent that he stopped coming home, maybe you could help me answer that.
Then one sunny afternoon, a news came that my dad was getting married to another woman. My mum cried, cried and cried, and I held her, cried and cried with her. My mum became less vivacious, very sad and always crying, he wouldn't pick her call or mine. That hurts badly. Then one day, dad came home, I didn't talk to him, I didn't know what to say to him, there was so much questions in my mind, yet I couldn't ask. It was very embarrassing. The house that moment was super silent. I was asked to go outside till I heard my mum calling me back into the house, then I saw dad packing up some of our home appliances, I got mad, and packed back everything he took. And I told dad, please you can't take our home appliances, go buy new ones for your family. He got mad too, started blaming mum that mum told me bad things about him, like I don't have my eyes and brain intact. I stood in front of those appliances, ready to do anything to protect them until my dad walked away.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
I am yet to answer that question, why was cheating not enough for dad that he had to get married to another, my mum is very beautiful and hardworking, have gone through so much for him. Why would he get married to another, why did he abandoned his children? Maybe he later found true love, though there was a rumour that the lady was using charm on him because she is a daughter of a witch doctor.
WHAT RESULTED FROM THE EVENT AND WAS THEIR ANY LASTING IMPLICATIONS?
I Never saw dad again after that last encounter. We just heard rumours. Dad caused us pain, so much pain but it was worse for me, he broke my heart, I lost my hero, he killed a part of me emotionally.
Then one day, I came back home from work and heard that dad was brought back to the village, that he was very sick and asking for me to come see him. I refused, I was hurt badly hurt after much persuasion from mum who already forgave him, I went. Who I saw wasn't that handsome man, no dashing smile, where did all those good stature, perfect fitness go to. My dad could not talk. Is this my dad? I kept asking my self.
I sat beside him, that very moment I didn't care again, didn't care about all the pains, I just wanted my dad back the way he was. I held his hand and he squeezed my hands tight, we held on to our hands. There was so much that hand and his eyes were saying. We cried, I and my dad cried. I didn't let go. Just sat, praying and looking at him. I already forgave him. There was so much rumour about the causes of his sickness . Didn't know which was true.
Towards evening of that day, he could talk, we talked about little things and he promised things would be better when gets better, I had hope, I saw hope, I went back home happy, then the next day when I went back to visit, my dad was already dead.
LASTING IMPLICATIONS.
He died!!!
I don't know if I ever want to get married. My heart and my mums heart was given so much pain. Mum is still unmarried and persuading me to get married. But am scared as hell. I am not as strong as mum. So am still on my own. My heart has taken much heartbreak apart from my dad's incident. So I have decided to give my heart a permanent rest from romance.