โ๏ธ The confinement...
Outside a wonderful sun clears the last clouds in the window. The wet grass from the night rain evaporates, becomes a sigh, and my eyes search for you on earth and in the sky.
I would like to leave, I have been here for almost a month, I am locked up, connected to machines, in the silent room, on the fourth floor of the Cรณrdoba Hospital
In 2021 I had a season between rooms and laboratories, like many, hoping to recover.
I had finished chemo and radiotherapy, and I only needed to perform an autologous bone marrow transplant, as a final therapy to consolidate my treatment against Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
The learning
This cancer of the immune system, resistant to the first chemo, had taken me almost two years to heal, and its end was finally approaching.
The passage of time made me more patient, I learned to wait for my medicine with the joy of someone who has the last chance, the sweetness of my nurses and doctors made everything possible. I was able to leave my wounds behind, and be born again.
I pay tribute to my beautiful family, who accompanied me throughout the entire process, and without them it would not have been possible either.
Here we are with my dad, my sister, my brother-in-law and my nephew Nico. At an exhibition of classic cars and motorcycles in Mendiolaza. My dad restores old national motorcycles and he is a genius!
Punky attitude (to cancer destruction!๐ฟ)
๐ The Strength that we are... and we didn't know it
I believe that life, and the universe, have been infinitely generous to me. I don't know a luckier person than me. The Gods and Goddesses gave me an eternal gift. Like everyone who is able to read this today.
How to return so much generosity? I think I could be dead, like many people who said goodbye to this disease, like my mother. What could I give to the world in this permanent maelstrom of every man for himself?
From my place I would like to transmit tranquility to those around me, the hope to see further if they need it, the strength and calm of being in the present moment. Being able to be a small change that brings the peace and joy of being alive.
So that? I don't know... What do I know? I still don't know all the things I would like, but I want to continue learning ๐
โ๏ธ ๐ Where am I going?
I like to frequently question what I took for granted. And because I had many hours hospitalized with nothing else to do ๐
When I was hospitalized, and had to spend weeks doing chemo or then a month with the transplant, I felt like I could be momentarily locked up... But never imprisoned.
As if my soul was flying everywhere.
I don't remember in which book I read that someone was sentenced to prison, and he had no problem with that, because he was prepared for something worse if you will. Because he could be confined forever inside a tree with just one hole, and still he would wait for the passing of clouds, like the arrival of friends.
We are never alone, what a magical universe.
๐ฎ Who am I?
My name is Juan Pablo Leรณn, I am a gardener and musician. Grateful for your company and for being able to share a little of my humble experience in this wonderful community. I love you ๐
โค๏ธ ๐ฑ have a beautiful week ๐ฑ โค๏ธ
(I took this photo from the hospital room, I had already posted it, but I am sharing it again because it makes me happy that dove)
