Camaraderie doesn't happen by accident; developing a strong sense of trust, accountability, and togetherness around team goals requires intentional effort.
- Don Yaeger -
The call came in early in the day; can you come down and help me with some kite boarding stuff?
I wasn't sure exactly what help I was supposed to provide since my kite boarding knowledge and skills are tenuous at best, but when people like the chap who made this call makes a call like this I go, no questions asked. Besides, it was a nice day and I couldn't think of a better place to spend some of it than down at my local beach - it's not far from home and considering who'd asked me there going was never in any doubt.
The breeze was stiff, perfect conditions for kite boarding but a little strong for a casual walk on the beach but wind notwithstanding as we got things set up many people passed by on their beach walks and quite a few stopped to watch our progress and that of the other kite boarders preparing or already out on the water.
Before long he was rigged up and making his way into the water which gave me the time to relax, sit back on the beach and watch. I pondered his reason for calling me there. Just wanted to hang out? Had something to say that needed to be said in person? Wanted to talk? Needed someone to listen? I decided to wait and see knowing I'd know soon enough.
I ended up going for a walk up the beach, ran into some people I knew who I chatted with and an hour or so later made my way back to where my mate was still kite boarding. It wasn't long before he came in though and during the pack-down we decided food was required.
As we ate, I came to understand why he called me down to the beach; he wanted to talk and needed someone to listen. I'd figured as much.
This chap is a military veteran, someone I know very well and have had a lot of time for over many years.
He's been struggling for the last twelve months since his wife left him and has struggled long-term with PTSD prior to that. Sadly, he was making some inroads, developing and growing, when his wife announced she wasn't in love with him anymore and left...it probably had something to do with the affair she'd been having for a year or more prior. A sad situation all round and difficult for our group to manage considering his estranged wife is one of our very good friends also. A difficult situation requiring some careful navigation.
Anyway, that's all I'll say on the matter, the rest is private, although I will say that I'm glad my friend called me; the net result of not doing so, him not leaning on someone, sharing the burden or just saying, I'm not ok, to someone who actually cares could be catastrophic and something I've seen all too many times before...and, tragically, will again, I guess.
We ate a lunch of marinated chicken on a green salad with Greek Pita flatbread, had a beer and chatted about all sorts of things, not just the problem at hand, and had an enjoyable afternoon. When we parted he was feeling a little better; he'd said some things, I'd said some things, made it clear he was to call me night or day - which he knew he could do anyway - and after a bro hug went our own ways. Job done.
I received a text message about two hours later, a very simple but powerful message which said a lot more than just the three words on the screen: Thank you bro.
I know what he meant and it made me feel a lot more comfortable about his state of mind. Again, here is not the place to go into details, but what happened today made a difference to that bloke, it meant something to him, and left him a little straighter than he had been going into the day; as always, I was more than happy to help as he himself would be should the situation be reversed.
It left me thinking about the importance of the ability to self-reflect and the courage it takes for a person to say, I'm not ok, and, just as importantly, the power of the question, are you ok, said to another, or asked, whether it's a good friend like in my case here, a family member or an acquaintance - these words are powerful and can make a huge impact upon someone who is floundering.
I hope you've all had a good weekend so far. If you're keen to let me know what you've been up to please do so in the comments, or simply comment as you please, I'll respond.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
All images are my own - Samsung S22 Ultra