Sometimes weekends for us are action-packed affairs and sometimes they're just damned miserable; This weekend is somewhere in the middle, not good, not bad, just sort of mediocre and leaning slightly towards miserable.
It's a long weekend here, Labour Day weekend, so Monday is a public holiday. We're planning on taking a drive in the countryside; We really need a distraction from the daily grind which seems to have spilled over from the working week and into our weekend.
Faith and I are dealing with a few fairly complicated situations currently; One of which is an operation that she is having next week and the other the massive operation her mum requires due to a complicated secondary cancer-scenario. A double whammy! Along with her mum's operation, recuperation and ensuing chemotherapy will come the need for additional and constant care and to be able to provide that Faith and I have decided to move into her mum's house. All of this combined makes for a complex set of circumstances.
Last year we went through the same situation with the primary cancer and it was difficult to manage as Faith lived at her mum's most of the time and I stayed home; Not ideal. This time, with the secondary cancer, we figure it would eliminate some of the pressure to base ourselves at her mum's house, together.
My mother in-law hasn't yet decided to have the operation; I guess one needs to consider quality of life post-operation and what life may look like, how long it may last, without the operation. It's a big decision.
She's meeting with the oncologist team again soon and once she has all the facts will decide from there. The operation is incredibly huge, she will be cut completely open, neck to navel and right down around one side of her body then then the work begins. The recovery will be difficult; I suppose she's wondering if it's worth going through that with no guarantee's of recovery or best to opt-out and have quality of life for as long as the cancer allows it.
It's a personal decision of course, one that has very definite implications, ramifications, and so we're providing support without trying to sway her either way. It needs to be her choice.
My own mother went through the same deliberations and opted out of the operation choosing quality of life instead. Breast cancer became secondary bone cancer and she passed away at the age of 59 years old; She had the quality of life she desired for most of that time, although I can't imagine it was very comfortable considering the severity of her condition. It was her decision though, one I disagreed with at the time, but respected.
I can only imagine what it must be like to have to process a decision like that.
Our weekend hasn't been very good; Quite depressing really, although we've been together spending quality time, despite some of that time being spent on depressing discussions.
I've been building Lego as Faith and her mum went through documentation: Will, power of attorney, advanced care directive and other legal documents. She also wrote all her bank account information down, passwords and numbers, which may be required and went through bills and household things for Faith to take over if required. It's all quite odd really, listening to those discussions knowing why they're happening, but essential considering the situation. It was quite emotional for Faith and I'd imagine her mum too, but she was stoic as always; She's a strong lady.
If she opts-in to the operation there is a probability-factor that she may bleed out on the table should things not go exactly to plan. The surgeon told her that, in no uncertain terms, and that the operation is bigger and more dangerous than most brain surgeries...And recovery is not certain, even if she survived the operation...That's why we're preparing things ahead of time. It makes sense and whilst unpleasant is the right thing to do. Not being prepared will lead to complications later, at a time when we will least want them.
Faith is fragile at the moment and, understandably, quite easily set off. There was a small incident at home last night and whilst all is well it really hit home to me just how finely-balanced she is at the moment. It was a good warning shot for me and I've been thinking about a few ways I can mitigate the risk of it being repeated; She needs me to help not hinder her, physically and emotionally.
I'm sure it'll be a difficult time for us and I hope I can manage to hold everything together for her.
And how's the G-dog feeling?...Well, I'm ok but quite worried about my wife as you might imagine; Her emotional state, the fact that she is going to lose her mum and, of course, her own operation which isn't going to be the easiest scenario. I have a job, she runs our business, we will have two households to run, two people recovering from operations, chemotherapy...I think things might be a little complex moving forward, a least for a while.
I'm looking forward to Monday though, a drive to the countryside, a stop off at a bakery for lunch and coffee...Faith and I will need to take these little moments where we can I think; They'll be like stepping stones and jumping from one to the other might help throughout what is likely to be a very turbulent twelve months ahead...A long road.
I hope you guys have been having a good weekend and have found something energising to do, something that provides enjoyment. Life is a precious thing, one never knows when it may be snatched away, so we might as well get after it, live the best version of it that we can. Righ
Take care y'all, have a great weekend...And thanks for indulging me these posts, they help order my thoughts.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
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