The purpose of having children has been misunderstood by many humans and it's one of the reasons why the world is what it is today. The world is running low on resources and this is a result of overpopulation, people do not know when to stop childbearing. This is not to condemn anyone, it isn't about being rich or not, it is beyond being educated or not because when the consequences of overpopulation come up, we will all have a price to pay individually.
There was a time when people had children to help them on the farm and that time is passed, the world has become unstable compared to what it was then and for this reason, childbearing should be reconsidered.
Many of us find children very important for the wrong reasons and I always say that if you aren't fit, don't go ahead.
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I grew up knowing some superstitious beliefs, I have many times heard adults saying that having children opens ways for success, children come with good luck and as I grew, I asked myself questions like "Why are people still poor when they believe that children open way for success?".
A lot of things are not mandatory in life but society makes people feel like if you haven't done a particular thing, you have not existed. These societal standards have set limits and defined our existence even though they are wrong.
The truth remains that not everyone will get married, buy a car, build a house or even have children. These are decisions people make after thinking critically but the society makes them feel like they are on the wrong side of life. I have met people who don't want to have kids and they have valid reasons for that, I respect their decision because they are not pressured by society or allow themselves to be influenced.
The issue of childbearing has gotten really messy to the height where people go on and on just because they want a particular gender that they couldn't have. A child is a child regardless of gender and not having a particular gender shouldn't be an excuse to go on and on.
My parents got themselves in this situation and it becomes a huge issue in the long run. My mom had four boys and for the sake of having a female daughter, dad eventually got three daughters from another woman.
In response to the topic, I will choose to have a child and if my luck is huge then, a twin will be very much appreciated. My decision is as a result of many things you are about to read.
- I always loved kids all my life and definitely would love to have one under my roof as well. I feel great having them around me, their innocence, lifestyle and everything about them interests me except the bills and that's why it is unreasonable of me to get into it when I am not ready. The love I have for kids is not enough to bring them to the world to suffer, it is pointless having children when I can't cater properly for them. The world is in chaos already and bringing a child to suffer wouldn't speak well, I love children and when the time is right, the needful will be done with moderation.
There is a silly adage here that says, "Having just one child doesn't mean you are not barren". This can tell you the height people can go with stigmatizing people for only choosing to have just one child and regardless of what the world thinks, I wouldn't go beyond my capability. It isn't just about today, childbearing for me involves putting the future in my plans as well. What if the unexpected happens, what will be the childs fate? There are a lot of questions we need to ask ourselves and it's best if we don't turn a blind eyes to the truth.
- Children bring a different vibe to marriage, I want to have a product of myself and the woman I choose to spend the rest of my life with. We are two different humans bonded together by love and it won't be bad to have a replica of ourselves, a child having the combination of our genes.
Above all, the need to be properly prepared for the challenges attached to childbearing is very important. It requires more than just a wish, it needs full mental, physical, financial and also emotional preparedness.
At the moment, I am not 30% prepared because it wouldn't make sense for me to let my child go through everything I went through. It is my responsibility to give them a beautiful life which involves a conducive living environment, proper and valuable attention, proper education, feeding and a whole lot of other things.
Doing it at an inappropriate time will only create problems for the child and it would be unfair as a father to bring a child into an unstable world without helping them create the necessary balance ahead.
Whether to have a child or not, I respect everyone's decision but we must be honest with ourselves.
Falling under societal pressure, superstitious beliefs, trend and many other things when the challenges attached to childbearing begins, it will be just you and your partner.
This is my response to one of the Weekend Engagement Prompts by @Galenkp, feel free to share your thoughts about the post and also participate.
Thanks for reading.