Attributing some habits or lifestyle to a particular gender is something I find annoying, I find it hard to comprehend why I need to do some things just to prove that I am a man or woman. Some things distinguish a man from a woman naturally, we can all tell a person's gender by just looking at them.
It still baffles me why people choose to imitate some ugly habits just to prove that they are worthy to be called a man or woman. The feeling that I need to start exhibiting some lifestyle just to be accepted has led a lot of people to make grave mistakes in their life.
There are times when I don't blame people who feel this way because proving your gender in some terrible ways has become a trend in the society. Society makes people feel like they are not really what you are if they aren't doing some things. If our gender is defined just by responsibilities, I will find it cool compared to what many people think they must do before they are accepted as a particular gender.
Image is mine and was edited using Canva App
I used to have lots of female friends when I was a teenager, I always made friends with them easily wherever I find myself and it is just a natural thing for me. I usually don't have strings attached and my relationship with them doesn't exceed friendship.
I had a lot on my mind then that didn't make me think further than just being friends but a few among them wanted more than just friendship.
Whenever I notice a female friend trying to put so much pressure on our friendship, I stylishly and respectfully cut the friendship because I hate to hurt people's feelings especially when it has to do with relationships.
But, there was this girl who wouldn't take no for an answer. I saw the signal but I pretended not to notice the things she was doing. She eventually confessed her feelings to me and I made her realize that I wasn't in for all those things now.
She didn't take my response and she began to stalk me. I tried containing everything and she always wondered why all she was doing didn't bother me.
In the end, she went to speak to one of the uncles we had in the community. She told him how I turned her down and he sent for me. He is not someone I respected but being the kind of neighborhood where I lived, I didn't have a choice but to honor the invite.
On my arrival, I met the girl there and I knew she was the reason why he called me.
"Are you in a relationship?", He asked and I replied that a relationship wasn't the next thing for me at the moment.
He started mentioning the names of my mates on the street and who they were dating, he ended up persuading me to date the girl since she loved me so much.
I told him okay even though I didn't have the intention of dating her, it was the only way I could end the meeting quickly.
I and the girl left his place, we were a few steps away from him when he called just me.
He said, "I know what is wrong with you and I have a solution for that. ".
He told me a series of things I could do to prevent impregnating the girl because he thought that was my fear.
"You are a man already and you have to behave like one", he concluded.
I couldn't stop laughing when I left his place and couldn't figure out what being a man has to do with going into a relationship I didn't want to
The girl got tired of me and jumped at another guy who impregnated her in less than three months. I felt sorry for her when we met again and I wished she had concentrated more on her life than jumping around guys just because her peers were doing the same.
Taking the wrong advice the other day would have put me in trouble and might even ruin my future.
The society believes that as a man you have to be this and that doesn't make any sense to me. We all have what we want, there are things we are aspiring to be, and compromising these things with the society's demand just because of your gender mostly doesn't end well.
Because I am a man, I have to boss around my wife, I have to stay out late, have multiple girlfriends to satisfy my sexual desire, all these don't make any sense. I failed to meet some dirty society standard for my gender and I am happy today because it doesn't make me anything less than a man.
The weekend engagement challenge comes up every weekend on Hive. @Galenkp, the creator of the community gives various topics to choose from and it is always fun participating.
Feel free to check this weekend engagement and choose one to write about.