People have always an opinion about what's right or wrong for one doing in a specific situation, even when one didn't ask for it.
We cuban people, as familiar and friendly as we are, sometimes dare to open the bag of advices we always carrie, supported by our accurate and not often applied to ourselves perception of right or wrong and throw our opinion of someone else's situation, followed by the advice and of course, the solution one would give to the problem. All this usually ends up with these words from the advicer...
Listen to me. That doesn't fail. I've been through that a lot of times and it has always worked out for me the way I say it now.
Weekend Engagement Week 278. Topic 1.
I consider myself a bit unconventional in some matters, not because I try it but it comes out naturally. I have a bunch of codes I strictly follow when deciding the right thing to do, that some might find excessive or attempts of heroical behavior. I'm no heroe at all, just one who trust his guts.
I remember one time about three and a half years ago, my sons' mother had what others saw as an unconventional relationship (which still stands) with a man and because of that they both were having connivance troubles with her mother that ended up in an ugly discussion and them all, my kids included, decided to get out of that house without even having a place to live in. Those were hard months both, for them and for me, I was worried about my kids stability. Finally they found a rent in a remote place and settled down there.
A couple of months after that a strong hurricane was espected in our province and I had a meeting with them and told them:
You can't be here in this shity house when that monster shows up, this won't hold the strenth of that storm and you 4 will be in danger. You are coming to my house.
I must clarify that we, my kids mother and I had divorced a couple of months before she started the relationship and our links after that were a bit weakened and distanced, so when they moved away from their house which is located very near from mine, it was a bit difficult for me to see my sons with the frequency I use to before.
So, when I heard about the moving away I knew they had no conditions to do that and live with the required comfort for them and my sons. So I helped them with some stuff they needed to cook and with my presence as a back up in any situation.
People criticized me a lot as they though I shouldn't do that, they( my ex-wife and her partner) didn't expected either, nor their family, as my later decision to bring them to my house cause of the hurricane.
Everyone said that that mixed up weird situation was wrong and I shouldn't go on with it.
Fuck it!! I said. You don't understand and don't have to. It's entirely my call.
They came to my house, the hurricane passed and destroyed their rent. I was right and they were safe and I was happy for that and for making the right call.
They stayed a few months with me, until their issues were solved. My kids were happy that we got along and that they were back to their birth place, with her friends and their father.
Advantages for me?
I could build a good friendship which brought me valuable support some time later when I really needed it in hard times where they were there for me all the time in many ways. They still are. It felt right for me and made me happy to know I did it as I felt it for good. The happiness and the bright in my sons eyes and expressions, that was the greatest of rewards.
