Loved or feared, it is not exactly the opposite of one another, and because we are emotional beings we connect with situations that come and go. This topic Galen is exciting because "love” is the basis of every relationship.

This reminds me that falling in love has its stages from the initial chemistry of taste, and sensuality, showing the best of one looking for mating to true love, which is more understanding, tolerance, and love by choice with a supreme dose of unconditional trust.

There are many stages to overcome

After the first six months, you see the individual reality and then the family one, then the economic one, the religious one, whether you want to have children or not... and so with each of the transcendent things in our life. In my personal experience, I prefer and am loved because I have overcome all these stages and found someone with the same goals, a man I trust unconditionally and who loves, respects, and trusts me equally. Blindly, my husband would never doubt me and I would never doubt him.

The interesting thing is how you come out unscathed, fast, and victorious of the personal history because in this loved or feared, the only difference between one and the other, is that love when it comes is "blind" and one must ask oneself "should I fall in love with this person", and fear does not let us see the intolerable and essential.

At what point do we realize that we are incompatible?

When we can't negotiate on any of those aspects. The gap is born and the power struggle begins if they fail to reach an agreement, love is lost, fear wins and the fissure is created where the relationship will break down. The previous life history (previous relationships, age, family conflict, dysfunctional home) of each one is fundamental in making wise, selfish, and short-sighted decisions in order to move forward.

In this sense, I prefer love reciprocated from respect, honesty, solidarity and total dedication, which I consider from my own experience “a treasure that comes from heaven”. We all undoubtedly prefer to be loved with passion, tenderness, respect, tolerance, and empathy. I think that only those who cannot get respect, attention, or obedience in another way (aggression) want to be feared because if one could choose no one would want to be observed or have to apply some kind of violence for example “the interfamily to achieve their goals” including those of very low and unbearable instincts. That's a line that when you cross it, there's no going back.

I can only think of Stockholm syndrome where (the captor and victim) are strangers, and the victim of "prolonged kidnapping" falls in love with the captor who abuses and protects her at the same time, only the kidnapping unites them, but this serious topic that I will leave for another post.

That is why it is very common to confuse love with fear. A balanced couple relationship should be based on love (I prefer) and not only on the fear (I need) that makes it unstable and very fragile.

In the image, the heart-shaped with roses was made by my husband by hand in oak wood. Some of the presents that I received this February 14 that I share today for the purpose of the initiative.