So, let me tell you a story about my friend, however let’s just call her Sarah. Sarah is a smart, sure of herself woman in her late 20s who has been single for some time. She recently came across [let’s call him Mike], a man, she found on a dating app whom she decided to add as a friend as they became quite close through messages and calls.
Thanks to their natural chemistry and love for sarcastic humour, both of them looked forward to finally meeting in person. They had eventually been on their first date and things between them were intense. They chatted a lot, they were even laughing with each other, and sexual chemistry was obvious. That evening and particularly as the night wore on, she began to feel a very strong desire to have sex with Mike. Part of her thought "You only live once, just go for it!" But another part worried it might be too soon.
To have sex on the first date or not? That is the question many single folks grapple with in the modern dating scene. There are some potential pros and cons to weigh.
One argument in favor is that if the mutual attraction and connection is intense right off the bat, why not explore that passion? If both people enthusiastically consent, having sex early can be an exciting expression of desire. Some believe it can even build intimacy if the encounter is positive.
The counterpoint is that rushing into sex before really getting to know each other can be unwise. Building a foundation of trust, compatibility and emotional bond first is advisable in many people's books. Having sex too quickly can potentially lead to hurt feelings down the line if one person catches deeper feelings while the other just wanted something casual.
There are also some practicalities and safety precautions to consider. Is birth control being used properly if needed? Have both partners been recently tested for STDs? Do they have condoms or other protective barriers on hand? Being spontaneous is fun, but not at the expense of personal wellbeing.
Another factor is whether having first date sex aligns with one's own values and principles. Some may view it as no big deal, while others might see it as going against their moral code. Everyone has to follow what feels right for them.
Back to Sarah's dilemma - she decided to be upfront with Mike and ask what he was looking for and whether he'd be okay taking things slowly for now. To her relief, Mike was totally on the same page and assured her he wasn't expecting sex right away. He was attracted to her personality as well as her looks. They ended up just making out a bit before saying goodnight.
Over the next few weeks, Sarah and Mike continued dating each other exclusively. They took the time to really open up about their pasts, goals, interests, and boundaries. The tension rose and rose and rose and one day they had that feeling that they both were ready and that night, they jumped into it. In conclusion, it was worth while to wait for the party to arrive.
So what's the verdict? Nevertheless, as to whether one should engage in sexual intercourse during the first date, the decision still remains open to controversy and therefore cannot be tipped one way or the other. It must be borne in mind that each person is unique and each case is a different one.
If you've established clear expectations, open communication, and ethical precautions are in place, then having sex early can work out great. If not, pumping the brakes is wise.
The focus is to find out what you want, what you find important and what you will not accept in a potential partner while at the same time, such a partner must be willing to understand your principles and respect them. Do not just conform to this or that position that you do not quite understand or agree with just to satisfy other people. He or she must serve his or her own self-interests as far as safety, well being and integrity is concerned.
And if the chemistry is off the charts but the timing's not right for sex yet? There's nothing wrong with indulging in some light petting, making out, and letting the delicious tension marinate until you both feel it's the ideal moment. A slow burn can ultimately lead to a more satisfying blaze.
Whether you choose to go for it on date one or wait for the right opportunity down the line, the most important thing is feeling comfortable, confident and cared about in your choice. So don't stress too hard about what anyone else thinks. When two consenting adults are on the same page, there's no wrong way to express mutual passion and build intimacy at your own pace.
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