The Girls of the Choir

The themes for this Weekend Engagement are incredibly interesting. Failure, depression, and happiness surround me daily in my environment—though I am happy to say that the last of those three words is the one that best describes me. For while I have always been a happy person, I have learned to hold onto that feeling in the face of adversity. However, I am surrounded by many negative people—in fact, I believe they surround me primarily because they are very close to my wife. There are so many of them, and their negativity is so pervasive, that I’ve actually come to think of it as "a woman thing"—a notion that has, unsurprisingly, landed me in hot water with all of them. But I’ll explain that in more detail later; in the meantime, let me give you a sneak peek: the young woman in these photographs—the very person I once considered the most negative of the entire group—is currently thriving in Germany as I write this post. I took these photos back in December; she needed them just in case she was selected for a spot. I remember telling her that I was absolutely certain she would get into that academy in Germany—even though she remained plagued by doubts. It seems I am, inevitably, a very positive person.

This post is called “The Girls of the Choir,” and the thing is, what's happening to my friend in the photos seems like a problem that's spreading, especially among the sopranos, which worries me a bit, since my wife is the section leader—and she seems to lead the pack when it comes to being the most negative. Believe me, all the girls—or at least the ones I know best—are very negative. It’s something I can’t even describe, and I’ve often skipped meetings or impromptu get-togethers because I already know what topics they’ll bring up; I know they’re going to cry and complain, and that’s something I don’t want for myself right now—though I don’t want it for my wife either. But I’m not going to forbid her from spending time with her favorite people. Yes, I’ve made the huge mistake of telling them they’re wrong or that it’s easy to get out of depression, especially because I’ve said it when they’re in a group 😅 and no, if there’s one thing negative people want, it’s for their pain to be respected and for no one to mention the most obvious solutions...

Don’t think I’m an idiot, either. After all these years, I’ve learned how to deal with them and remain their friend even though we’re so different. In fact, the best way to help them has been to talk to each of them one-on-one; when they aren’t relying on each other’s negativity, they open up a little more. Almost everyone here is in therapy, and those who aren’t probably need it anyway—maybe even I do, since Venezuela isn’t an easy country. But fortunately, I’ve discovered that from a young age, I was given the tools to deal with failure or depression, and every day I strive to become stronger.

I won't deny it—I have decided to distance myself as much as possible from negative people. We can sing together, say hello, and exchange a few words in the hallways, but I've made a point of not hanging out with them, especially when several of them get together. I don’t know if the people I surround myself with are 100% positive—there are practically only two of them 😅—I just know they’re people who dream big and make it happen, who fall down and get back up, and whose words affirm future success. Whether it happens or not, I want to be surrounded by people who expect the best, who are always growing and learning, people who are prosperous even in their speech... I decided on this last point at the start of the new year, and just by holding on to better friendships, I’m now 7 kilos lighter and have fit into a lot of my old clothes again—even though the first quarter of 2026 isn’t even over yet. Gone are those afternoons of sniping and criticism spent with the girls in the choir; the answer was in hiking and working out with the guys.

Don’t get me wrong, I love all my friends dearly, but it does frustrate me to see someone trapped by demons of their own making and not be able to do anything about it—and maybe that’s the real reason I’ve learned to distance myself. Yes, they say that sometimes it’s better to be there in silence, and I think that’s true, but for how many years? I feel that being there in silence for so long makes me an accomplice to their self-destruction, so staying by their side in silence is something I reserve exclusively for my wife, my mom, and my closest friends—and even with them, I have a time limit because there’s another harsh reality: there are people who simply don’t want to get better. Man, it’s taken me a while to understand that—especially when it comes to those around you or those who shaped your character from a young age...

I have to admit that at least fate gave me a break with the girl in these photos, because that’s another thing that happens all the time to positive people like me—we can get really annoying with our optimism, because we have faith, because we hope for the best, and you know that in the end, the universe only acts when the time is right. I’ve given a lot of people a lot of hope, and in the end, nothing happens. This girl in Germany was very surprised when she received the email from the academy, and I remember she tried to sabotage her own trip right up until the last moment 😅 but she couldn’t keep up that sabotage; life smiled on her, and all she had to do was enjoy her moment of happiness... Being positive doesn’t mean being foolish. I myself wish for many things, and years go by and they still haven’t happened, but I prefer to wait actively, building those projects little by little and being happy along the way—with a smile, not with tears, crying in a dark room or hanging out drinking with people who are also destroying themselves.