If you are looking for peaceful home and an understanding home, then monogamy family is the best family you can have. I'm not just saying this because I prefer a monogamy home but from experience I've seen and story I've heard.
I've lived in am area where most of the family living withim the area are polygamy family and from what I've seen happening in those families, I can say that polygamy home is not something I will want to have.
A monogamy is between one man and one woman alone. The arrangement makes it easier for the man and woman to understand each other, share responsibilities among each other, and build a home without the pressure of competition or divided attention. When two people are focused on each other alone, communication tends to flow more easily. There is also less confusion, less problems because every decision, plan, and challenge taken, belongs to the two of them alone. This creates a sense of unity that many families struggle to achieve when too many people are involved.
Polygamy is when a man has more than one wife. It is still practiced in many parts of the world today, especially in places where tradition carries a strong influence. Though some polygamy homes succeed and live without issues, many of them face problems that become difficult to manage over time.
One problem I have with polygamous family is the presence of many wives, which can create rivalry among them, even when everyone tries to behave well. A man with three or four wives may struggle with sharing his time and his attention equally among the wives. There is usually this feeling that one wife might feel neglected while the another might feel favored, and small misunderstandings can result into along lasting conflicts within themselves. These disagreements sometimes extend to the children, making them grow up with tension and hatred they did not create.
My father once told me a story about his own family, which was a polygamous home. He said his father, my grandfather, married three wives, and according to him, almost every day, there was one quarrel or another. No peace at all especially when there were little. Sometimes it is the wives you will see quarrelling and arguing among themselves and other times it was the children fighting because of different sides. It eventually got so bad that the whole house became divided. Every woman for herself. Each wife started preparing food and doing things only for herself and her children. He said that one day, a fight broke out and it became so serious that one person almost lost his life in that fight. Complains here and there. He couldn't complete his school because his father could not cope with paying fees, he had to drop out.
Stories like this are very common in many polygamous home. Children from different mothers sometimes grow up with hidden competition. Even during family meetings or celebrations, it is not unusual to see small divisions show up. There is this saying that elderly people usually say, polygamy homes does not end without quarrel, and this is something that many families can relate to.
In a monogamous home, the man and woman know they must work together because there is no second wife to bring another direction into the home. If there is any misunderstanding, it is between the two of them alone, and they can resolve it without outsiders adding interfering.
Children from monogamous home also grow up with a more united sense of identity. They do not worry about which side of the family they belong to or whether someone else is competing with them for attention or inheritance.
Raising a family is not easy, especially in country like mine where the cost of school fees, housing, feeding, and transport keep rising every day. A man with one wife and a few children can plan better and provide for his home without stretching himself too much. But a man with multiple wives has a bigger financial burden. If care is not taken, some wives and children will end up feeling abandoned, and this can create problems within the family. Some monogamous home are still battling with financial problems even in their small number, how then do you think some polygamy homes would be.
Another reason why I prefer monogamy is the peace. It is easier for a woman to live with one husband without worrying about competition. It is also easier for a man to build a strong bond with one wife than to divide his attention among several. Many marriages today survive not just because of love, but also because of understanding, communication, and teamwork. These things are more achievable when only two people are involved.
Most of those things I said here are from experience. Like I said earlier, the environment we've lived before is full of polygamy homes. There's no day that will pass by without hearing one issue or the other, there is no day that will pass by without separating fight. Tension here and there. Most of the children don't go to school simply because the man cannot provide money for their education. Sometimes they are left to survive on their own and that's why if you go to places like the north regional part of the country like Borno, Bauchi, Sokoto, Kebbi, you will find children scattered around, going out to beg for what to eat.
Now, it is not as if the monogamy home doesn't have it's lapses, in fact they do, and I can tell you that some polygamy homes are far better than some monogamy home but only a few, when taken statistics.
In my opinion, monogamy offer more peace, better unity, better communication and understanding, share responsibilities in the home compare to polygamy. I've seen it from my home that is monogamy compared to other polygamy homes around us.
And for these reasons, I believe monogamy is a better option for building a stable families in modern society.
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