One of the things I have battled my whole life with is the feeling of envy. You see I come from nothing. A dirt poor family of poorly educated imbeciles. A family of all for none, One for themselves attitudes. With a questionable family tree missing a few forks I suspect.

I am the odd looking young fella on my grampa Kens lap. Just look for the oldest man in the photo. You will see me. My brother left of me. My mother and my Little sister (RIP) just to the right.

I miss my little sister immensely and Envy those who still have their siblings. We did not always get along but we were very like minded with similar bad ass attitudes. The take no shit and follow your own path attitude. I miss you every day My sweet little sister. An ten fold during the holidays.

I battle this longing, this feeling of something missing, I suffer continuously with this feeling. When I am rolling down the highway and see a really cool vehicle I instantly wish I had it. A fenceline and an awesome looking ranch house or farm in the background, and instantly I wish it were mine. Horses running across some farmland far away from the cities. Yep, You guessed it. Envy is always there for me. It is horrible. I want more almost all of the time. The greed caused by this envy is overwhelming at times.

I push this feeling down. I stomp it into the virtual mud of my mind. I tell myself these feelings are normal and I am not a monster for feeling them. I try to convince myself that everybody has these same feelings.

I welcome the feelings of contentment when they do come over me. I have been working very hard lately to be happy with what I have. To be my better self with great advice I get here from a really cool fella you may have heard of. You are reading/writing in his community. So take his advice. Be your best self. For me this is a monumental challenge. But when I hang out here having a virtual #weekend-engagement #weekend-experiences

I go to a place in my minds eye when I walk virtually in to G-Dogs Bar & Grill. A make believe place in my head where it makes things a little easier. Even if for only a short period of time. Then it is right back to...

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝔾𝕠𝕥 𝕚𝕥, 𝕀 𝕎𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕚𝕥..!

Thanks for Riding Reading along with ol' KrazzyTrukker here in the community that everyone is envious of and wishes they had thought of. Please be happy with what you got and...

Keep on KrazzyTrukkin'