Many say having a kid completes the family, and one of the reasons to strengthen the relationship the love, bond of a couple. It was a great blessing that not all are lucky to have.
Since I was young, I have been sure that I will have my own family and kids when the time comes. Though I grew up seeing my parents struggling financially, that doesn't influence my thoughts. What I only had in my mind was not to engage in teenage pregnancy and, most importantly, not to bring a child into this world if she would only experience my life as a kid. That is why I worked hard to have a degree, a decent job, and be smart enough to be financially capable of raising a child.
I even planned what age to get married and what age I would have a kid, as that's the perfect time to be ready emotionally, physically, and financially.
The year 2018, that was five years since I got married. I was twenty-eight and at the right time based on my goal. In my mind, I was thinking; before I reached thirty, we were already a family!
The husband decided not to apply back to work as we wanted to get pregnant first. We both love kids, and having our own has been our dream, our greatest goal. Five months had passed; I got impatient as nothing good happened. I got frustrated and sad every month after knowing it was negative; I got my monthly period.
We consulted an OB-gyne, and I still remember how the Doctor laughed, saying I was impatient. Still, as I wanted to assure you, we undergo a series of tests, ultrasound, and ahhh; it hurts! The results showed no problem; both of us were capable. What we need is just perfect timing.
I still had the copy of my first ultrasound,
So I held into that until two years passed, and the husband got a contract and returned to Taiwan to work. We said I would visit him to pursue our goal, and he could have a vacation yearly anyway. Taiwan was only a few hours away from the Philippines. Yet, who would have thought the pandemic would happen and forbid us from seeing each other for three long years?
Knowing our plan A wasn't feasible, we focused on plan B, which was building our dream house. Maybe, we aren't yet blessed with a baby as HE wanted us to have a home first where we would raise our family. Glad to say we made it. The feeling that everything was ready and what was lacking was a Baby.
This year, we planned his vacation, the month the days. I even consulted again with my OB-gyne and underwent an ultrasound to ensure I was healthy. I took some vitamins and ate healthy foods to get my body ready.
Finally, when the husband arrived, that was one of the best days of the past years.
If you read my previous blogs, all you can read are all the places we visited throughout his stay. Enjoy the day, create beautiful memories, and work out for our ultimate goal.
I was hopeful this time, and I even filed a long week of absence as per advice from my Doctor. I made all her suggestions and followed her instructions. My workmates were all supportive and didn't even bother me. On the first day I was delayed, I took a pregnancy test. While waiting, I silently prayed it would turn positive, but the moment I opened my eyes, I saw this.
Yes, it was NEGATIVE; I wasn't pregnant! Do I need to say what I felt? Frustrated, upset, why asking why it was so unfair? We did try our best, but then again, we failed.😰
I even readied myself to stay at home, take care of our future child leave my work even though I am used to working, but then nothing!
The past weeks were not good, enduring the sadness caused by it, not to mention the husband was back at work. My emotions aren't stable as, from to time, I feel frustrated, resulting in me being grumpy. So, I choose to avoid having conversations with anyone.
However, I decided a few days ago to keep trying. We still have plenty of time, so that we will see him in Taiwan in the next few months. We might get lucky this time.
Hello Hivers! Happy weekend and this is my entry in 
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