I saw from a Facebook post that a cousin of my brother-in-law died of stroke. The brother-in-law passed away long time ago so I texted his widow, my sister, and asked when they will go to the wake so I can tag along. She replied "this afternoon." That was yesterday, Sunday, afternoon. Off we went at late in the afternoon and stayed until the evening.
In between singing, exchanging of riddles and story telling with other visitors, I came to know a five-year old kid who is very smart. He sat beside me and got busy looking for games on a phone. I asked his name and said so while his eyes were fixed on the phone. Let us call him Kevin in this blog. I asked for his age and he answered in local dialect, "I don"t know." His eyes still on the phone.
"How come you don't know?"
He suddenly raised his left hand with all fingers wide open and said, "five" without looking up.
I answered "Ah, very good" and let him be.
Many Filipinos have that tradition of offering food for the spirits during especial occassions. Wake is one of those occassions. On this wake, foods were served by the head side of the coffin.
After dinner was a free time with no singing or whatever. We were just chatting with one another when we heard a serious conversation near the coffin. It was between Kevin and an older boy, who is maybe ten years old.
Kevin is that smaller kid in red sweat shirt. In front of them are the food offerings.
Kevin was asking for whom the foods are. The older kid pointed at the dead and said "grandpa." With that I presume they are grand kids of the dead. I am not sure though if they are siblings or cousins. Kevin asked again and the conversation continued. Our attention fully turned to them.
"How can he eat when he is in there? He is not even raising his hand to pick his food." Kevin meant the coffin. The older boy did not know how to explain so he just shook his head. Kevin ran away for a while, came back and started asking again.
"Why is he not eating?"
The older boy answered this time, "because he is dead."
Kevin looked puzzled and seem to have fallen in deep thought. He went beside the coffin, tiptoed, stooped over and looked down at the corpse inside. The older boy tried to gently push him away but Kevin kept his position. He seemed amused of what's inside that long wooden box and stared at it for a while. Then he ran to someone whom she referred to as mommy. Our eyes shifted that mommy. I wondered how she will handle the curiosity.
"Mommy, why is he not eating? Why is he not getting up? Why is he not lifting his hand to pick his food?" Kevin asked questions one after the other.
The mommy plainly said "because he is dead." Kevin did not reply and seemed to have fallen again in deep thoughts. I was expecting the next question to be "then why does he need food???" But nothing came next. He kept quiet for a little more time, thinking. Then he ran to the kitchen. It seems his thoughts about the dead and the food are distracted. I wondered, does he now understand about death and why the food offering?
I asked myself, how would I handle it if I would be asked the same questions by a kid? How will I explain death and the concept of soul or spirit without making kids thought about ghosts? The questions are still hanging in my head. I don't have answers. Do you?