I had just moved from teaching secondary school to teaching fifth and sixth graders in elementary school. Things were different like students actually followed classroom procedures and learning targets. It was unusual for a student to fall asleep in class and if I ever called a student by name they would answer.
This was a big leap from teaching middle school where I spent half the time joking with students and the other half of the time playing games. Elementary school students were used to studying with the textbook and following what the teacher asked them to do. This was all new to me.
Most of the students would respond to simple attention getters and call and response TPR techniques if there was any difficulty in keeping attention. I taught 13 classes in sixth grade and 12 classes in fifth grade back then. Since then the population of children in Korea has decreased a lot.
I noticed one day that a fifth grade student was not like the others. Usually boys in fifth grade are still responsive to a teacher's direction but he would keep his head covered with his hooded sweatshirt. He would keep his head down and sometimes I could see a little drool on his desk.
I didn't know what was wrong with this kid. The other teacher told me to ignore him. I couldn't. Every once and a while I would stop by and just smile or say hello. When school ended I would hang around for a little bit just saying "goodbye" to students. I saw him go home also and he looked up and said, "See you tomorrow." I was surprised I got any answer from this kid.
The next week he started to follow class a little bit. I had a Korean coteacher who lead the class at the time and really didn't get the idea of coteaching. Mostly she thought the native speaker was some kind of tape recording device she could turn on and off. She was a new teacher and basically taught her class the same way she was taught in elementary school as if the students were also like tape recorders she could turn off and on. She called on the kid with the hooded sweatshirt and instead just ignoring her he actually stood up and answered her question. I smiled and let him know it.
That summer he joined the English Summer Camp at school. We did things like make our name in clay. Make comics. Listen to music and make lyric videos. We did a nature scavenger hunt around the school grounds to see if we could spot letters of the alphabet in natural settings. At that time we also did emoticon BINGO where students acted out the emoticons they chose. He had fun participating in the games and activities.
I saw him again the next semester and in sixth grade. He started to smile and participate in class. I was glad and went on with what I had to do. At the end of sixth grade on his graduation day he came with his dad to visit me and wrote me a card. He said, "Thank you for teaching me." I was a little surprised he found my office and brought his dad too. He told his dad that this was his English teacher. His dad smiled and said, "Nice to meet you."
A year later on teacher's day this kid came to visit and he brought me another card that basically said, "Thank you for teaching me." A year later he did the same thing. I then invited him to sit down and talk. I bought him a drink that he liked and I listened to his story.
He told me that in the beginning of fifth grade his mom suddenly past away. She was healthy and doing fine and he and his brother didn't even think about. One day after he came home from school the news came. At that time he said it felt like the end of the world. While he was telling me I thought of my own dad who lost his mother at the age of ten and how troubled he was. No one understood him. I asked the boy how his dad was doing. He said it's been three years and his dad took care of him and his little brother well. I was glad. But I was confused why no Korean teacher told me this boy's story. They must have all knew about it. Maybe they thought as a foreign teacher it wasn't necessary to know.
On the other side I never asked. Now he was in my office three years later telling me his whole story. I guess it was hard for him to talk about it when he was in fifth grade. I wondered why he was telling me all this now. Then he got to his point and said in Korean, "I am telling you this because you were there for me. Other teachers treated me like I had a problem or I was a problem, but you treated me like normal student. Your class and English camp helped me to learn things about myself. Thank you teacher."
I finally understood why this kid kept visiting me every year and he continued. Now he is a college student. He wasn't allowed to enter our school to visit because of Corona but I know he is well. I was glad I could be there for him at the time it was most important although I didn't know I was helping him.
This is the power of influence. The secret is that influence is invisible. We really don't see it and the moment we do see it working it loses part of its magic. Influence is like yeast mixed in with some flour and water to make dough. It is invisible but it works through all the dough. It is active and powerful but not visible until later and we look back and say, "Wow, that was powerful."
Influence can be positive or negative and it is always at work. We never know what kind of situation the person in front of us has just gone through. We don't know if they had just just lost a loved on or if they had just had the greatest day of their life. We just see their hooded sweatshirt and wonder... "Why doesn't he even look at me?"
All pictures here came from my cell phone camera. During the time of social distancing it is important to be a little more social and a little less distanced.