Looking Back

This weekend I'm looking back to 2021 and I'm not seeing a lot of big happy events. It was actually the shut down of 2020 that sparked a lot of my creative energies. I was excited about online classes and made a kimchi puppet and also published a book that year, but during the next year of 2001 I couldn't see any outstanding accomplishments.

2021 began with bad news. At first I was so glad that my friend with heart problems had found a transplant donor. Suddenly that new went sour and his body rejected the new heart two days later and he went into septic shock. He had finished his PhD and had a beautiful family. I watched his oldest son get married just a few months before. He was so happy in 2000 but in 2001 I watched him fade away.

Hive became a healing tool for me at the time. I enjoyed writing posts and joking around with friends on Hive only to find that one of my best friends here was no longer. Maybe you know Sam from PAL msp radio "Post up". No one should be shot in the back like that. In memory of Sam I changed the name of my blog to "Kimchi Sam" because he was the guy who encouraged me to write kimchi books.

Around that time the POB community started. I was invited to post in the Word of the Week contest by Hive account@calumam. This helped me focus on writing a little something based on a topic each week instead of just randomly rambling off or writing something only to publish a post. This helped me to focus and think about things from the readers' point of view. I was so happy to find the writing prompt's from Hive account@galenkp each weekend. Although we are an ocean apart I found that we have a lot in common. It's been hard to write anything over the weekends. Sometimes I have a masterpiece in my head but I don't have any time at the computer on the weekend. When it finally comes out it is just a few lines but the community is very welcoming. No one ever says that it is not good enough. The weekend engagement people are sincere and thoughtful.

The most important moment

The more I wrote the more I thought about what is really important. It's fun to blog and share my experiences in Korea and in teaching. But the most important part of my life in 2001 was my youngest son. I had recently discovered the severity of his dyslexia, dyscalculia and 80HD. The most important moment in 2021 was when I decided to take one to one time to be with him undisturbed each evening. I knew it was difficult for him to read and follow what was going on in school, but I really didn't make enough effort to see the world with his eyes.

I decided to read the Bible with him every day. At first I was reading to him while he jumped around the house. It seemed like he could never pay attention to even one word. He would just turn and play with something. I asked him to play together and he ignored me being so absorbed in the immediate activity that he didn't want me around. I just watched him play. I wondered how he could be called "attention deficient" when he was so engrossed in his own project. He had all his little toy cars lined up and he gave them all places to park next to paper cups that he lined up perfectly geometrically from one cup to eight cups. I wonder why they think he has problems with numbers. I think numbers and letters are the ones with the problem.

Drawing ideas

Observing him like this without interfering I learned how he thinks and how to communicate with him. I took small passages and began to draw parts on paper. He would look and listen and follow along. We went through some difficult topics all on sketch paper and he followed along. When we got to the genealogies, this would be boring for most kids, but he wanted to hear every verse and wanted to draw it out.

I spent a lot of my evenings with him drawing out the Bible verse by verse. He saw things different from me and communicated through pictures more than words. For him words are music. He sings songs about the words he likes and makes a beat. His piano teacher says she can't get him to sit still but when I turn on the synthesizer he is putting a beat and melody very naturally. The problem is after three minutes he wants to do something else.

His world is playing, drawing bizarre pictures that are nsfw and making weird songs. When his mom suggested that his learning disabilities were hereditary I just smiled. He helped me learn a lot about myself and learn how he learns. I stopped reading at him and allowed him to absorb the words in dance and in pictures and music.

This is our Bible reading from Genesis 5.

I saw him learn to read

Writing letters and following phonics books bothered him so much. Instead I bought him a set of colorful banagrams to play with. We played and matched letters and put them together to make words. He then began to look at the words I was writing on the screen and read them. He asked me, "What is HIVE?" and "Who is SNOOK?" And I was surprised. His eyes were open for the first time to a mysterious game of letters and words.

In the evening he used to ask to watch Youtube or play minecraft but he had developed such a good feeling from reading and talking together that he now expects it. Now when I come home I see him reading by himself. I never saw this before. He said he wanted to read and learn more. I was so happy I cried.

Of course he didn't stop playing and I encourage him to play more than anything else. I never disturb him when he is in his world of cars and space ships. When he asks me to go outside and a build a fort together I do it.Childhood is way too short. I am not going to rob him of his childhood. I'm letting him discover on his own what wonderful things the world has to offer.

Not all of 2021 was bad.

Some of the sad things that had happened have opened my eyes to see the importance of those closest to me. The sad events of 2021 naturally pulled me into writing and interacting with communities on Hive that have had similar struggles.

Instead of becoming self consumed I began to understand others better beginning with my own son. I don't think many people could really say that they liked 2021, but the events that happened caused me and others to look a little deeper and try to understand.

There is a time

There is a time for love and laughter
The days will pass like summer storms
The winter wind will follow after
But there is love and love is warm

There is a time for us to wander
When time is young and so are we
The woods are greener over yonder
The path is new the world is free

There is a time when leaves are fallin'
The woods are gray the paths are old
The snow will come when geese are callin'
You need a fire against the cold

So do your roaming in the springtime
And you'll find your love in the summer sun
The frost will come and bring the harvest
And you can sleep when day is done

The Dillards 1963