T'other day, my wife told me of a secret 'llama' place nearby our home that she wondered into, but was unsure what it actually was. She never entered per se, but there was something involving the visage of a llama.

It would be highly unlikely that an actual llama would be involved in whatever it is she's talking about, because not only are we in the middle of a city, but we're in the most industrially cramped, high-rise dystopian section of it. There's barely space for a patch of grass in a plant pot, let alone some kind of farm or zoo.

So what on earth did she stumble across?

Well, curious as we are, we finally went last weekend.

Down the side of an alley, a rather obscure, inconspicuous sign - little more than a small circle on a pole - took us down the side of a dark sub-alley... oh geeze.

We were met with a dead end with an unstaffed front desk. Around us was an eclectic collection of... just, stuff. None of it made sense at the time; an old, busted piano, framed stick insects, a glass cupboard of creepy dolls... A llama on a TV greeted us on the wall. So that explains the llama bit at least. It spoke to us in Chinese although I must admit, I wasn't even trying to understand it, as I was fascinated by floor-to-ceiling collections. It's hard to explain.

The llama gave us some clues as to how one opens the door. Took me a good couple of minutes to find the 'door open' button right next to the TV... it wasn't concealed in any way, it just blended into the chaotic collection of cool junk surrounding us.

After pressing this open button, the wall on which the talking llama TV was set swung open and unveiled to us a bizarre world you would never expect, well, anywhere.

Let's explore

The first think we're met with is a much larger open, outdoor space than I expected. At first I got the impression it was one of those kinda private bars that only advertise through social media or something.

Going inside, however, we are greeted by...

CAPYBARA???

Now I'm just gonna say right off the bat, I found this ethically questionable. A bar using animals as a novelty is somewhat concerning to me, depending on how they're treated I guess. These capybaras looked pretty chill and unbothered by their surroundings but then again, that's literally what they're known for. But, the caretakers seemed genuinely into it and caring enough that I felt a lot less concerned about these animals than I ever did visiting a zoo in these parts of the world. So I let it slide. They looked happy, relaxed and healthy.

Also, there were at least four so the social element at least did seem to be appeased.

Still, CAPYBARA! I've had an ancient, blurry picture of a capybara as my microsoft account profile picture since long before they were a well known creature, back in the days people didn't even believe me when I told them there existed giant guinea pigs the size of dogs.

This was, of course, the first time I had ever seen one in person, and you wouldn't believe how rough and thick their fur is, like each strand was an extra thick whisker.

Speaking of guinea pigs, GUINEA PIGS!

On several table tops, guinea pigs exploored with moderate freedom and tbh, looked like they were living better lives than the large collection I had as a kid growing up.

So... what was this place? I'm still not sure. Some kind of petting zoo?

You see, there were indeed tons of animals, the more you explored, all completely available for petting and hanging out with. Birds, lizards, insects, hedgehogs, red pandas, even meercats!

There was even a more traditional cat cafe built within.

As you might expect from the initial TV appearance, therein resides a couple of big ol' llamas too! (Actually I'm fairly sure they're alpacas).

This actually struck a memory. A year or so ago, I remember were were in a taxi, and we were caught by a random white llama/alpaca being walked like a dog in the streets of Shanghai. We thought it was just some eclectic person, but wondered about it. I'm now pretty certain it was these llamas, as they looked like the only creature who didn't have enough land space to stretch their legs as much as they would like. So they go on Shanghai walks!

Oh, but there's more

In China, and increasingly the western world, there seems to be this entrepreneurial idea of combining things into 'everything businesses'. For example here, we have the whatsapp equivalent, WeChat. But it's also your main payment app, your booking of cinemas and restaurants, your mini-app handlser, work and home blend into one place, and you essentially cannot function whatsoever without WeChat.

Elon Musk claims he plans to turn X into the same kind of everything app.

There are examples of physical spaces being used in a similar way too, none more blatant than here.

There was indeed a bar, a poker table, a live performance venue, an escape room, a maze, a ball pit, a house of mirrors, a PS5 VR room, a fishing spot, slot machines, and some other things I forgot... ridiculous!

The thing is, it had almost no customers, likely because it's so secret. They told us that the place absolutely bleeds money, but has nonetheless been open for at least 10 years. This is because it's actually a passion project by some wealthy businessman who likely sees the expenses for the whole place as one less ivory backscratcher.

It probably also has large groups booking the place here and there to hang out for hours and rake in the big bucks, rather than couples like us. It's set up to be family friendly but also somewhere you can do karaoke or pretty much whatever you want for hours on end.

Quite a magical secret, and in fact, I won't be telling anyone the name or location of it in hopes to keep it that way!