Hello, Weekend-experiences friends! I hope you are all doing excellent and that the coming week is full of positive things and good news. Today, I wanted to join week #298 proposed by 
At many points in my life, I have felt disappointed in myself, especially in situations where I overloaded myself with things that ended up draining my emotional health. People often say that success is everything in life—having a career, a house, a marriage, children, among many other things. But we don't all have the same way of looking at life.
For me, getting married or having children isn't something I lose sleep over; in fact, I’ve thought about the latter a lot, and I don't think I want to bring children into the world. It’s a personal decision and, in my opinion, a very responsible one on my part.
I have felt disappointed when I stopped doing things just because of "what people might say." I think I pay too much attention to what others might think. I know it’s something I need to improve, but it has definitely made my life difficult in some ways. I don’t want to see myself as a victim because that’s the easy way out—saying everything is someone else's fault and that I bear no responsibility for my life, my decisions, and my actions.
One of the things I struggle with most is trusting people, especially nowadays when hardly anyone is authentic. I feel it’s too exhausting to wear a mask to pretend to be someone I’m not. And although it feels uncomfortable to show who I truly am, I prefer that over continuing to live a life full of lies and appearances. At my age, I can no longer keep thinking that everything has to be done the way others do it, or that I have to meet the expectations of every person who enters my life.
I know I’m not a perfect person and I have thousands of flaws, but I do feel disappointed for not having tried many things sooner—like making my health a priority, or choosing a career when I felt truly ready rather than when I felt pressured by others. Perhaps I am a "late bloomer" to some; sometimes I think this might be true, but the reality is that life is hard enough, and it becomes even heavier when you try to achieve more and more just to look good in front of others.
Something I am doing to change my "disappointed victim" mindset is doing things that, even if they scare me, generate something positive later—like getting a good job or gaining tools for the career I want to study. I am still in the process of trying to get into university. I don’t know if it’s something too big for me, but talking to God, I’ve thought that if He put that idea and that goal in my life early on, it’s because—despite the difficulties—I can manage to graduate and practice.
I know that would be important to me, but I also remind myself that it isn't what will give me a sense of success or happiness. It’s just an achievement, one that deserves to be celebrated, but it only fulfills a small part of who I am as a person; it’s not something that defines my entire being. So, I am letting go of high expectations. I am already doing what is necessary to get into university, and the rest I leave in God's hands. He will know if entering that university and studying that career is positive for my life. That brings me a bit of peace, as does stopping looking at other people’s clocks. We are all different and we experience our emotions in different ways. One day at a time—that’s how I seek to live.
I hope you liked this post, and I would also like you to leave me your comments; I will gladly read them and will respond to them. Big hugs. 🤗
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