When we are hit with the harsh reality of death and not just any loss, I mean a loved one, it seems that the world ends or stops, it is a feeling horrible even when it is known that sooner or later it will happen, there is no situation that generates more impotence than losing the company of someone you love with your heart and that you know you will never touch him again, to listen to his jokes, to see his expressions and it is the despair who leads us to unanswered questions, even when it is not necessary to investigate so much to know that it is not under our control.
I will always suffer in silence for the death of my brother and I know that no more than he did at the time who did not want to leave this world, not to mention my mother's suffering, but to see it Suffering from a terrible illness was heartbreaking, even so I can't stop remembering all our wonderful moments, he was like the life of the party every day, he was always the starting point for everything, leaving a great learning experience for us, his family.
Life ends for some and for others it continues, we are passing through and we know it and in that sense my brother wanted to prepare us to continue on the road without him, his experience was terrible but his desire to live was infinite, he even managed to recover more than a couple of times until he really couldn't take it anymore and although time continues, there are situations that are impossible to overcome, you learn to live with it. Every time I remember my brother, the expression of sadness comes to my face and immediately a smile, he was intelligent, witty, jocular, funny and this is my guardian angel even in the worst moments of his life and I will never lose hope of meeting again with him.
The truth of all this experience of my life is that no one knows when it will be time to leave, nor that we will die and I really do not want to know, what is certain is that When the time comes, it will not only be to punish the bad guys because my brother was the best in the world, we don't know at what age it will happen because it can even be for babies, however from a spiritual point of view, more than a religious one, I believe in the protection of angels and My brother, in a letter he wrote before he died, which we got a few days later, let us know that he would always be taking care of us and I'm sure he is, that fills me with hope, the desire to live and move forward with my family
On the other hand, I have had to lose opportunities in life, that includes love, more advanced studies, better jobs, I lost all of this at different times, even so I continued my life, I became a mother and it couldn't have been a better motivation to get ahead, and this has to do with losing my freedom in those moments, a freedom that no one forced me to lose, I decided to live in those circumstances, imprisoned in my own armor of injustices.
It is difficult to recognize when we are wrong, but it is wise to review ourselves in order to move forward, and I really lived many years under the rules of a colony without the possibility of an opinion, it was an absurd decision, And worst of all, I imposed those rules on myself to make others happy.
Even so, I survived myself, after blows, trips and more blows, freeing myself was the best decision I could make for my well-being, I still remember in these lines so many lost opportunities, However, I do not regret it, I do not want to go back in time, especially when I am a mother, when I have a family and the possibility of doing many things that I could not at the time because I lost my freedom with a shackle that I placed on myself, life is wonderful, the children, the mothers, every day I breathe gratitude for what I have and it is the best feeling that every part of my being feels, freedom is lost when we want it to be so and even more so when we act incorrectly, but let it be lost by own decision, not that it will, that never again.
From experience, each loss is a lesson, in whatever circumstances, no matter how painful and sad or absurd and meaningless. In the walk there is everything to find and without being sought, whether good or bad, it is necessary to learn from each moment, and it is that gratitude for life would be much greater and the loss would be one more scenario than living with the commitment to turn it into the strength we are looking for.< div>
English translator: Google translator.
Stickers made in Bitmoji.
Own photographs and taken from the family album.