Greetings friends of weekend experience, today for the second time I join this initiative to talk about death, although in itself the question is If I died today would I die knowing that I have lived my best life, this is a topic that is little talked about and I will take advantage of the space to talk about it freely. Life and death are an indivisible whole, we cannot die without living and we cannot live without dying. In this sense, we cannot choose only one thing, although as humans we have this desire to want to be eternal and it is even a taboo subject to talk about dying, about what happens after, what we want to do before, or well specifically in my family it is forbidden to talk about it.

What you do not know is that I have had two near-death experiences one in 2014 and another in 2016; for two operations, the first for an ovarian tumor the second for a muscular fibromatosis, although in the second one there was certainty that it was benign, in the first one the doctor said everything indicates that it is benign but when it is operated something else can happen. And in both cases I fell asleep with the anesthesia and there was a risk of not waking up again, and although internally I did question myself, "How good has my life been? I never said it out loud.

In those moments, I thought I had had a good life but it could certainly be better, in 2014 I had not finished high school and in 2016 I was only in the 3rd semester of my career. I think these situations led me to risk a little more and enjoy what I was doing because we are ephemeral, finite and sometimes there are many things pending to be done and in the end putting so much pressure on myself only resulted in feeling bad and at the end of life there is an assured destiny.

Years later in a class of Group Psychology, we saw Logotherapy, a current of psychology created by Viktor Frankl (I recommend you to read about him) and its central theme is the meaning of life; in that class we did two activities that marked me a lot: the first one was the question of why don't you commit suicide today? and the second was that we recreated our wake and burial, the tombstone that is on the cover was from that activity, and there we were asked to talk about what we wanted to happen in our death, and I remember that I said several aspects that seemed random to my classmates but for me they were genuine.

I commented that I would like them to give coffee, toddy (a chocolate drink) and bread at my wake and burial, and I know you are thinking more or less why, here in my country it is customary that at the wake and prayers they give something, and well I like it when I go to one and they give me food, so it would be a nice gesture to those who attend. I also said that I would like my catholic friends (which is my religion) to do the prayers and rituals necessary for the plenary indulgence and lastly I commented that I would only want people to attend who really appreciated and loved me in life, not for commitment or appearances.

Now this question of commitment 166 is challenging, because it involves thinking about the idea of dying, and therefore reflecting on how good or full my life has been up to my 26th birthday. So if I were to die today, I would consider that I have lived my best life so far, I have accomplished what I have set out to do personally and academically, I have achieved the accomplishment of graduating summacumlaude from my degree, I have a group of good friends who support me, a family that has always been there for me, I have had fun, I have laughed and I have had a good time, I have had fun, I have laughed and cried, I have learned through thick and thin, I have managed to learn to live with my anxiety, I have gone a little out of my square, I have allowed myself to make mistakes and above all I have enjoyed the process, in the good days and in the not so good days. Last but not least I have been able to buy things with my money, things that were not necessary but that made me happy.

And why I say so far, because although with my tools and events I have given the best of me, I consider that I still have things to achieve to practice my profession, do a graduate degree, go to the beach with my group of friends, see Morat closer, travel to Europe and Seoul, revive my love life that was on pause by the university, continue to enjoy fighting with my dog Salomon, live more with my parents and to give back a little of what they have given me and stop counting. So until today it has been the best life but no doubt that in the future it will be the best enhanced.

And I take away from this commitment the memory that life is ephemeral and fleeting so I have to live it and make the most of it. Compared to the universe of millions of years I am just a shooting star so it depends on me that my glow is warm and pleasant mainly for me and that I accompany my loved ones in their process of shining. Thanks for reading me, see you in comments.