A kid with a dream? I started dreaming when I learned to read a romance pocketbook. That's also when I learn various things, from love and friendship to jealousy. I always dream of being the "main character" in every book that I read. That's also when I started dreaming of becoming this and that. I started dreaming of becoming a billionaire, learning Spanish because it sounds beautiful, and finding my leading man that would pull me up in the misery I was in back then.
A romance pocketbook is where I become more aware of everything. That's also when I become so greedy, yeah, even for the bad things, like sex? I also learned about that. With the romance pocketbook, I also learned things I shouldn't learn, lol. But back then, there were two dreams that I was determined to achieve no matter what, to be a writer and to be a secret agent with cool and amazing combat skills.
Yeah, I actually dared to dream of becoming someone who was cool back then. Sadly, nothing ever came true in all those dreams and wishes. I didn't act, I didn't make an effort, and I didn't push myself to try and do it. But if I ever pursue that dream, if I act and make an effort to actually make it happen, I will for sure be a policewoman now. Being a secret agent is hard, but being a policewoman will be a little bit easier to achieve— I think.
I had a lot of awesome scenarios in my mind on how I will be as a secret agent. How I will apprehend a suspect, how I will save someone, and how I will put my skills to greater use. I can imagine it, I remember being so happy while imagining it and while reading Arielle's book. I really feel like I can be a good agent. I also feel like I can be good with every weapon, I'm good at imagining it.
But sadly, it didn't happen. When I finished high school, I was unsure if Mom would actually make me attend college. Then it happened so fast. Mom learned about the entrance exam in the newly built PUP Bansud branch in our town, and she asked me to choose what course to take. That time there are just four available courses. I don't like to take education, and I also don't like the business administration course. My only choice was BSIT, and I ended up getting it.
Criminology is not available, and that course is only available in another school, which is far from home. I can't choose it because the fare to go to those universities will be a big problem of mine. And so yeah, my dream of holding a gun and going into action didn't happen. But if it is, I will be a policewoman for sure. And actually, there are still times that I think about it. And Mom knows now that I want to be one. And I learned that she actually liked that for me as well. What if I had said that to her back then? Would my today change and turn into something cooler, more amazing, and livelier? (._.)ﾉ