Greetings friends of Colmena and community of weekend experiences. This week's topics are quite interesting, personally the ones related to infidelity caught my attention, one more week I am encouraged to share my thoughts with you.

Many years ago I did an interview with a psychologist about infidelity and that made me think about how subjective this topic is, she told me that what for me may be an infidelity for another person is not, for example: sending messages to another person in an affectionate way, as well as thinking about someone other than the partner (thoughts associated with love, sexual, beauty or way of being of the other person); that for some it can be an infidelity and for others not; that each one's beliefs and the agreements that are made as a couple influence, and that normally these agreements are not verbalized, but assumed. An interview that personally left me with a lot to think about.

One thing is what you think with a cool head and quite another is when the situation occurs and you have to act.

In the hypothetical situation of my partner being unfaithful to me while having an affair and confessing it to me, the first thing I would do would be to ask him/her: Why did you do it? With whom? How long did it last? Did you love her or do you love her? What happened between the two of you?

With those answers I would know what happened, how far it went, if it was just messages, if there was an encounter, if you have been at it for months or years. After knowing the basics of what happened, Then I would ask him why he is confessing to me, what is the purpose? I might intuit that it's out of guilt, but I'd like to hear your side.

I would be very upset and hurt regardless of the situation. Also, If you tell me that your feelings were very connected to the other person, it would hurt me more.

Would I forgive him? There if I have no answer, because first I would listen to what happened and with what intention he is confessing everything to me. What I would ask him for is time to assimilate what he has told me and see if I can really forgive him.

Weekend engagement #164; topic proposed by @Galenkp: Cheating and confession (one).