Well another needlessly cryptic and overly convoluted title. What else is new?
Should you decide to read on (at your own peril!!!) all will be revealed. I can't promise the post will make any more sense than the smart assed title but I will 'try' and isn't that all any of us can really do in this life?
While perusing the grey matter inducing blog prompts from that @Galenlp fellow this weekend in the WEEKEND EXPERIENCES community. I was struck by a few different thoughts when 2 of the 3 prompts resonated deep within the cavity that identifies as my scary headspace.
Can I get away with answering 2 prompts in one post? In truth it wouldn't be the first time, this random British dude has no time for those pesky rules, they are for mere mortals.
One prompt however had me almost running for the virtual blockhills, which it does most of the time when it comes up. Many of you will relate but more on that later. No not that much later, I've been to work all day and shall repeat that dreadful experience tomorrow so I am going to try and write a normal human sized post... Let's see, past attempts do not leave me feeling optimistic!
Add to that the fact that for as long as I can remember now everytime I do get a moment to sit down and write, I see one constant, recurring image...
Ugh... Not again!
Immortality for one weekend
You're immortal, you can't die, but only for one weekend. What do you do and why?
Easy! So bloody easy although it may result in me seeming a bit weird... Oh wait, that's a daily occurrence, panic over.
You may have read before about my earlier ambitions to become a volcanologist or my first visit to an active volcano or my overwhelming obsession with lava. It comes up a LOT, maybe I never got around to growing up.
I have always been fascinated by the overwhelming, catastrophic, relentless power of the natural world. Whether it be asteroid impacts, devastating weather events, solar flares, pandemics or the mesmerising shifting of tectonic plates that quite literally make the earth move. The one thing that inspires sheer awe within me though is the sheer mega power of volcanic eruptions.
The amazing force needed for what once seemed like a seemingly innocuous and peaceful mountain to quite literally blow it's top is quite the spectacle isn't it? Of course I acknowledge the devastation rained upon many through the millennia but I still cannot think of it any other way than 'the greatest show on Earth'.
Me On a volcano, overlooking the sea in Lanzarote.
Strange, I thought I was far thinner than I was back then! I'd just turned 40. Now I am 50 and in far better shape!
Take that, Father bloody time!
Immortality would afford me the opportunity to have a front row seat without fear of uhm... Immediate vaporisation or at best incineration. That is a cool fantasy for my mind to ruminate on. Just imagine the amazing photos you could take for blog posts, although unless the camera too was immortal, maybe that wouldn't pan out quite so good.
Here's the weirdest part of all though, I would love to know what drinking a pint of lava would feel like! Did you ever hear me claim to be normal? I think not. That's a serious statement though, I would love to experience the hiss against the tongue if I knew of course, it was without fatal and quite dire consequences.
However I would forego this dream for the possibility to enter every nuclear missile silo around the world and deactivate the warhead, that would be far more beneficial to mankind than uhm drinking lava from a martini glass, I'm sure you'll agree.
It is unlikely that I could do this at every nuclear site on the planet in one weekend but it is also unlikely I would be granted a weekend pass for immortalityworld so uhm touché!
Once this was done unilaterally, a genuine global pact could be reached with nobody holding a nuclear ace up their sleeve. You are wondering about the capacity for those pesky humans to be destructive, aren't you Dear Reader? Let me have this theoretical Utopian dream for just one weekend, please.
Your weekend clone
You've managed to create a clone of yourself but it will only last for one weekend. What do you do with your clone and why?
Well if you know me reasonably well, you can perhaps guess what I am going to fantasise. Whoa I just had a weird flash forward to a world with two 
Good advice...
This is going to sound boring, unimaginative, mundane in the extreme but I love the idea, 'clone Steven' could work the 12 hour shifts and mow the lawn, hang out the laundry (yup, I'm a modern guy, although stating that undoes some of the obviousness of the statement, right?) He could take care of all that life stuff that piles up around us, the stuff for which there simply never seems to be enough time...
Regular Steven.
Regular Steven, ((although I think they are both pretty bloody magnificent, anything but regular)) could write, just write, I mean let the key striking fingers follow where the thoughts lead for a whole wonderful, uninterrupted weekend.
Yeah, I know, I told you it sounds boring but I find my writing time, of which there seems precious little these days following a shift pattern change at work last year, to be cathartic, fulfilling and it allows me an opportunity to create a conversation that I would love to have with you Dear Reader should you choose to read on when intrigued by a particular title.
I would sit and create enough writing to put out a couple of posts every single week for the next few months at least. I would delve deep in to the topics I am desperate to broach but are quite research intensive that I stand little to no chance of writing in the very near future.
Right now I am enjoying the wandering thoughts being forced in to some semblance of order on the page before me but one eye keeps checking the time in the bottom write of my PC screen as I know 5.30ish is around 7 hours away, ugghhh!
... And this!!!
Your artistic weekend
Create an artwork of yourself using any medium you choose, engaging in one of your favourite weekend activities, photograph it, post it and explain your artwork. (The artwork must be of your own creation)
This third prompt was the one that made me shudder and avoid it like the plague, I know many of you know exactly what I mean... Does it, I wonder stem from that internal voice telling us just what a crap artist we are? Was it that disgusted look on Mr Sizer our art teachers face when we handed in the charcoal drawing of a shoe we had laboured on? Is it just the pressure of being creative and spontaneous when we feel anything but?
Maybe, or maybe one of a hundred other reasons, however I am going to try and overcome the urge to pretend I did not see that prompt that turned me off and test your perception of what art is.
Create an artwork of yourself using any medium you choose.
Any medium, huh?
There is only one time and in one medium I EVER feel even remotely creative, yup, you guessed it... Words. So let's try it.
Me... Sometimes.
He glances in the direction of the accusatory mirror,
Confidence, he tells himself, trying to almost will it in to manifest.
A self conscious flicker, moves across the visage for an almost imperceptible moment.
It was, however, there... Just for a micro-second, but unmistakably there.
Am I enough?
I'm all I have, he responds with the inside voice that usually evades the judgement and scrutiny of others.
'Others', he thinks, are they friends or just playing a part?
You'll drive yourself mad with things you can never be certain of, he chides himself.
I'm all I have, he repeats.
Better make the most of it then, he thinks.
Imagine the best. Be the best you can be and... Hope... Pray... It's enough.
It's all I have!
I don't think that was particularly good. I don't think it is the best I am capable of if I had a little more time but I wanted to use 'my chosen medium' to draw a picture that was real, honest and 'exposing', it wasn't particularly fun to share but that was kind of the challenge. Comfort zone expanding.
There's only one unanswered question from that oddball title... the macaroni... Oh yeah, simple, I was going to make a self portrait from dried macaroni and a permanent marker... Guess what my daughter had for dinner while I was writing...
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
