Tonight is the final night that our youngest Daughter Charlie (Charlotte), will sleep at home, in her own room for quite some time.
Charlie's 1st birthday, Big Sister Jade entertaining her My - 2 beautiful girls.
And I must confess the coming days will be a bit difficult. Don't get me wrong, it is for all the very best reasons, you see she is moving away to start her new drama school. That's exciting, right?
I would have loved to have that chance myself, at her age. For her to have this amazing golden opportunity though, there have been sacrifices and indeed there will be many more to come in the next year or so. Her student loan was revised a few weeks ago to not include the tuition portion costing some £9250.
We are distinctly working class and that is a colossal amount for people who earn what we earn to find, but this chance was not going to pass by without us grabbing it in order to help the youngest of our 2 girls achieve her dream of being a West End musical theatre performer.
(
So despite the melancholic tones, you may have detected in my opening sentences this truly is a great thing she is going off to do. I am excited for her, I mean really excited. She has a chance to do something truly wonderful if she follows every bit of guidance she is offered, soaks up every ounce of direction, and applies it to her studies and her performances.
Most important of all she has this chance to pursue a career she is truly passionate about, something that she will likely find thrilling and as fulfilling as anybody trading their time for money ever can.
If you have read my thoughts on my job (it's literally every other sentence I ever write as I abso-bloody-lutely detest it) you will realise just how utterly fantastic I believe this opportunity is what a boon it is to do what you believe you are here to do.
None of this can take away from a family member leaving the nest though. Let me clarify, I never want to be an overbearing parent, wrapping my daughters up in cotton wool and making them feel guilt-ridden every time they leave the house 🤣 I genuinely want them to carve out their own place in the world but it is still a daunting thought for either of them not to be around each evening.
I'm sure many parents have experienced similar feelings, wanting their kids to tackle and experience the big wide world but secretly wish they could be home by dinner time each evening.
We got used to her living away over the last couple of years but due to lockdowns, isolations, and such, like most college/uni students, she spent a huge amount of time at home. It's surprising how quickly we slip back into old, familiar routines.
It might be a surprise to hear my next comments after reading the preceding parts of this post. Perhaps you have a view of my household from what I have said up to this point. Perhaps it's of a white picket fence, 2.4 kids, and an SUV... Nuh-Uh!
Charlie and I wind each other up a lot! She knows exactly how to press my buttons and I with her. She can be exactly as stubborn and opinionated as me... Yup, that makes for some rough times when we debate the latest cultural issues or the problems with the youth of today 🤣
Sometimes I come home from a hard 12-hour shift, as I get older none of them are easy anymore, I can be like a bear with a sore head. I can be easy to irritate when I am so tired and I turn into a miserable Victorian Dad kind of character.
Obviously, in our little family, we all love each other immensely. Without my place in this unit of 4 + Holly the dog, I have no idea who I would be, how I would define myself and if I would even be here today to be writing this. On no level whatsoever can I imagine any 'It's a wonderful life' style alternate timeline, no other Steven in a parallel universe, with a different kind of life... This is who I am and in many ways, it defines me hugely.
Holly
So, no, it is not a picnic in my house every day but I wouldn't swap it for the world but as I say, one of us is off to chase her dream from tomorrow and that's just great if a little emotional.
There have been a few times over the last couple of months when the house has been absolute chaos and I have looked at my lady and whispered, we'll have a little time and space for us again soon, but of course Mum feels exactly the same way I do.
I'm sure we will get used to things again soon enough, we both work plenty of hours, as does my eldest daughter (who still lives at home too, despite being 30 next year, (that's a long story too... Maybe I'll tell you about it one day) So we will be fully occupied for most of the week, Charlie will obviously be following quite an intense schedule at drama school so before we know it, Christmas will be upon us!
I think there's a decent chance She will manage to steal a week to come home between now and Christmas anyway, October half-term, perhaps, It will probably feel like a couple of weeks. You know how fast time seems to fly between September and Christmas, right?
My babies will always be my babies, no matter how old they are and I will always back them to the ends of the Earth and back again. We always want our kids to go that bit further, do that bit better than us, I think that is inherent in the vast majority of parents. There's probably something primeval in that instinct, maybe something about furthering the species, perhaps?
Either way, you have probably heard enough nonsensical ramblings of a neurotic Dad terrified of empty nest syndrome. Ahhh! I just had an epiphany, maybe that's exactly what it is...
Earlier I said that if I wasn't a Dad, I don't know what I would be, how I would define myself, maybe that's what empty nest syndrome is, people always say it's to do with a quiet empty house and the feeling that you and your partner may now have nothing in common without being 'Mum and Dad'.
The aforementioned & 'long suffering' Mum 'n' Dad.
Perhaps it's more that, your kids are not there for you to parent... You become like those guys who retire from their job and feel they have no purpose, nothing to offer the world, and feel useless and nihilistic.
If you could see the suitcases, boxes, clothes, gadgets, kitchenware, bedding, and stuff, strewn all over the house ready to be packed into the car in the morning... Oh man, it is crazy here at the moment.
She is only about 2.5 hours away, this time around. It will be much better than when she was at the absolute other end of the country. Mum and I will be staying in a cheap hotel nearby in order to help Charlie unpack the mountain of stuff she is taking with her and get a little order so she can get to the busy task of familiarising herself with Manchester and dealing with enrollment next week.
Charlie will do stunningly well, I have little doubt. Those of us left at home will be fine and adapt to the new home dynamic fast, Christmas will come and go 2022 will begin (lockdown free!!!), Summer will return and Charlie will be home for the entire Summer term break, then I will write a post just like this in 12 months... Jeez, where does the time go once you get older?
Thanks for indulging a soggy-eyed Dad again. I love the bloody lot of you, Hiver-Friends 😁
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post & if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
