Today is Saturday, and I am glad to dedicate my time to answering one of the Weekend Engagement topics for week 274, as provided by 
Hate and love: Explain what each means to you personally, not generally, and how you've applied it to your life.
Many people regard love and hatred as two extremes on a spectrum of opposing emotions. However, these concepts have more profound and more personal meanings for me than the definitions we commonly read in books or hear from others. My personal experiences—the people I met, the circumstances I encountered, and the choices I made—have molded my perspective on hate and love. I began to realize that these feelings shaped me into the person I am now by teaching me about relationships, forgiveness, inner peace, and self-worth.
I believe hatred extends beyond fury or dislike.Hatred is a heavy emotion for me since it combines the feelings of disappointment, anguish, and betrayal. It happens when life doesn't go as planned or when someone you trust deeply breaks your heart. Hatred does not always target persons; it can also target situations or even me.
I've had instances in my life when I felt I despised certain people. They hurt me in ways I didn't understand. I gave of myself, loved and trusted them, just to be broken. I used to feel that hatred was a barrier, a way for me to protect myself from further misery. But, as time passed, I realized that holding resentment just made me feel more worn out. It depleted my energy, took away my inner peace, and prevented me from moving forward. Holding grudges only kept me stuck in the past; they didn't change it.
There was a time when I thought I despised someone for breaking my trust. When I saw this person, my chest tightened, and anger boiled up inside. However, I gradually realized that my anger was obscuring the pain I felt. It was sadness, disappointment, and a sense of lacking, not hatred. That understanding taught me that hatred is often a reaction to unhealed wounds.
As a result of this realization, I began to forgive myself rather than others. Instead of expecting those who had harmed me to apologize, I started focusing on healing my own heart. I eventually let go of my resentment, replacing it with acceptance. I came to terms with the truth that not everyone is meant to stay, relationships end, and people make mistakes. Above all, I realized that my peace of mind trumped my resentments.
However, love is more than desire or affection for another person. Love is more than gestures, words, and actions. To care for, understand, and cherish someone or anything, including oneself, is a choice. I used to believe that love was about giving up all for someone else, even if it meant losing yourself. However, I've discovered through my experiences that self-love is the most important type of love.
It wasn't easy to adore yourself. It involved letting go of the idea that my worth was determined by other people's opinions and unlearning firmly held opinions. It forced me to set limits, make my own judgments, and say no when necessary. I learned how to be kinder to the person I see in the mirror every day, forgive myself for past mistakes, and celebrate my small accomplishments.
I learned to be patient with myself and others via love. I realized that loving someone requires knowing them, even if it is complicated, rather than constantly agreeing with them. It's about prioritizing connection over pride, compassion over judgment. Love taught me to accept the good qualities in everyone, including myself, despite our shortcomings.
Love taught me to give without expecting anything in return, whether in connection with family or friends. However, it also taught me to protect my identity. True love is balanced; it encompasses both giving and receiving, caring for others, and being cared for in return.
Furthermore, I've realized that love and hatred aren't always mutually incompatible. They do not continuously cohabit. In addition to loving people who have hurt me, I have harbored animosity toward someone I cared deeply about. I used to be puzzled by contradictions, but now I understand that they are a normal aspect of being human. Feeling both makes me genuine, not weak.
By putting these principles into practice, I've started to make more thoughtful decisions regarding love—not just for others, but also for myself. Every time hate begins to creep in, I pause and analyze why. Most of the time, I recognize that it's hurt rather than hatred. I strive to alleviate rather than worsen that misery. I surround myself with things that nourish my spirit, keep a gratitude journal, and spend time with people who bring me joy.
I now see hatred as a teacher who reminds me of my strength, worth, and boundaries. And I consider love to be my compass, the driving force that motivates me to improve, evolve, and move forward continually. Both feelings inspired me, but I can choose which one to focus on. Love is my decision because it provides me peace, but hatred only takes it away.
Hatred and love, to me, are ultimately lessons to be learned and comprehended, rather than emotions. I knew the importance of letting go of hatred and the power of holding on, especially to oneself, to love. Both taught me how to love without losing myself, forgive without forgetting, and protect my heart without hardening it. That struck me as the most amazing balance I've ever seen in my life.