Hi guys. This is my first post in the community and after some days off writing and creating on Hive, the topic "Is there something worse than dying?" is currently one I resonate with and I hope writing on this could ease my pain and make me feel better somehow.
So over the week, I lost a dear friend whom I had known since high school. We were both classmates and shared the same bed bunk at some point in the boarding house. I had just reconnected with him earlier this year on our high school reunion page and he was one of those former colleagues I really looked forward to meeting physically again. While in highschool, we both had really small statures and were bullied because of that, but unlike me, he had grown really tall, handsome was beginning to have a great career as a lawyer. Since we reconnected, we talked quite alot of times regardless of our busy schedules and I was excited and was looking forward to meeting him at the reunion scheduled for December. He died on Thursday and his sudden death was painful and one that still remains a mystery to me because he was a healthy fellow and never talked about any ailment. I've been down since I learnt of his passing and I just can't bring myself to doing anything.
What does dying/ death feels like?
Sadly, no living person really knows exactly what dying feels like but from descriptions of a dying person, it's probably the most painful thing anyone would ever go through. But we can't know how it feels until our time comes and unfortunately, we can't explain it to anyone. But over the years as I watch and learn about death, what I feel what is worse than dying is the knowledge of dying/ death itself.
The Knowledge Of Death.
The knowledge that a person is dead or is dying is worse and has greater impact on more people especially the loved ones of the deceased or the person dying. Seeing a person on their sickbed so helpless and fighting to live is one of the worse sights ever especially in cases when the person was a really happy, lively and jolly good fellow like my friend. There's so much weight on the shoulders of the loved ones of a dying person from trying their best to make the person live to the final decisions of how to bury the person when they eventually die. I've been there and it's tough, so tough.
The knowledge that a person is dead also has a great impact on our lives and reality. The fact that we know death is inevitable and someday it would be us, the knowledge that everyone alive 150 years ago are no more and the fact that that we would also be gone someday is something we carry with us for decades as we watch more people die and as we bury loved ones. I believe knowing all these is worse than death itself which is swift and quick in most cases. The knowledge that the dead are no longer with us and we will never meet them again is painful and excruciating. Finally, the knowledge that we also don't know who's next or when we will die is also quite scary and traumatic. Being human comes with the burden of knowing all these and that breaks my heart when I think about it.
Yesterday was my friend's funeral and I still feel so lost, shitty and down. The frequency of death among young people especially people I know personally is quite alarming and sad.
The good thing about the knowledge of death however is that I get to appreciate life more , take walks and appreciate nature, appreciate my family and loved ones, take things easy, enjoy the rhythm of my heart beat and focus more on my health because that is the true wealth. Life may seem meaningless because of the existence of death, it is indeed something to be appreciated since we don't control it and can cease to exist at any time.
Apologies if this post was too sad for my first post in the community, I promise I'm fun and I'd try my best to share more exciting events about my weekends in the future.
Thanks for stopping by.